I’d like to think of today’s column as a public service for those of you attending a wedding for the first time in a while.
After all, it is the wedding season and there are new attractions, if you will, when it comes to the photos.
Sometime after the special day and its continuous chocolate fountain, you’ll be given the website name, password and a variety of other codes to get to the wedding pictures. And when you look, don’t be surprised if cheek-to-cheek with photos of the grandparents is a photo or two — or three or four, because we have to get the right angle and lighting, people — of the bridesmaids’ behinds. No, not the back of their overpriced gowns, but rather their actual backsides.
Apparently much like performance-style dancing between the bride and dad has become a wedding trend, so too has the showing of the bridesmaids’ butts. Boy, couples these days sure don’t make the job of same-sex marriage opponents, who rail about preserving the seriousness and sanctity of the union between a man and woman, easy, do they?
And here’s something else for you who aren’t up on weddings today. While you may think you are seeing total derriere, you are not. (So for the very interested among you, don’t waste your time blowing up the size of that photo.) The bride and bridesmaids apparently will be wearing thongs. Turns out there are entire websites that specialize in wedding party thongs. Why, there’s even one thong that has Mother of the Groom tastefully scripted across the who-ha area. (Let me take a moment, before the engagement even happens, to say a few words to my son: Don’t even ask.)
You know how this all came about, don’t you? Bridal boot camps. Brides and their bridesmaids now spend months before that special day dripping in sweat as they do squats and lunges while some instructor constantly yells, “Lower! Lower!” Then they try on those flouncy wedding and bridesmaid dresses and realize, hey, no one is going to see, as that informercial promises, how “rounded, lifted and firm” those backsides have become. Add to that the Groupon discounts for butt waxings. And thus was born the female bridal party booty shot.
Not everyone’s happy about this, and no doubt you can count among them the bridesmaids who decided to sit out boot camp and veg out on the couch instead. TheKnot.com, the premier site for all things wedding, just posted a listing of 21 reasons not to do the bridesmaid booty shot. I like the one that asks bridesmaids to consider whether they really want their kids and grandkids seeing that shot when they look through the wedding album many moons from now. Good question!
Oh, it’s all pretty harmless — if surprising to your pastor when leafing through the photos — I guess, and certainly better than one I remember from the late 1970s: the groom and his groomsmen mooning guests at the reception.