I know a guy who saves his McDonald’s coffee cup so he can get free refills. But he’s a big spender compared to some of the men you’ve gone out with . . .
JAYCEE: When we attended the county fair, we had to sneak in the exit to avoid the entrance fee. The few times we went out to eat, we had to split a meal. He would steal the ketchup, mustard, sugar and sweetener packets off the table in restaurants.
By the way, he had two pensions. His income was over $100,000 a year, but he’ll never have enough money. Can we say Scrooge?
YALE: We went to an Off Track Betting parlor for our first date. I made my picks and went to the cashier to bet the horses.
He insisted that he pay for my bet. Wouldn’t you know it, my trifecta hit and when I collected my money, he told me it was his because he paid for my bet. The bet was $6 and I won $80.
Now wouldn’t you think he would have at least split the winnings with me? That’s exactly what I had planned to do if he hadn’t snatched the money out of my hands. Needless to say, the first date was also the last.
ROSE: When I was a graduate assistant in music composition, earning $5,400 a year, I briefly dated a graduate assistant in chemistry, making $12,200 a year. After we ate his simple but excellent meal one night, I inquired about the music we were listening to. Proudly, he took told me how he illegally downloaded music. As a composer, I knew he was stealing royalties from every composer and performer on the original recording. I brought the issue up but didn’t push it.
Then we made a date for the opera. Student tickets were cheap even on my salary. I had my money ready, but he had a better idea. He knew a way we could sneak in. I refused and that was the end of the date.
He’s probably one of those slimy people who decides what he can “afford” to give the IRS.
LISA: I was dating a professor who was always poor mouthing, so I picked up many dinner tabs. But the relationship breaker was the night he took me out and didn’t order anything but a side salad and a glass of water. He said he had an upset stomach.
I ordered a nice entree (not too expensive) and, after taking a few bites, he reached over with his fork and speared my piece of meat saying, “You’re not going to eat that, right?” I just sat there and watched him devour my meal. Last date for us!
NONI: Against my better judgment, I agreed to go on a date with a guy I knew from a class I was taking. He suggested we go for coffee and picked me up at my apartment. After walking six blocks, in a January snowstorm, and him rejecting several coffee shops that we passed, he found a satisfactory place.
But after we sat in a booth and looked at the menu, he decided that they charged too much for coffee. Two stops and 16 blocks later, we finally found a place and ordered. He insisted on separate checks!
Who’s the cheapest person you ever dated? Send your thoughts along with your questions and problems to firstname.lastname@example.org.