Sue's Morning Stretch: Why I'm no fan of D.J. Tanner's 'submissive wife' role

Written By Sun-Times Wire Posted: 01/08/2014, 10:21am

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Can’t believe I am writing again about Candace Cameron Bure, who TV viewers know as D.J. Tanner on “Full House.” But, when a celebrity writes a book and reveals interesting and controversial things about herself that impacts others, it’s hard not to say something.

Cameron Bure, in promoting her new book, talks about how she is proud to be a “submissive” wife. “Good Morning America” showed footage of her saying that’s one of the secrets to a 17-year marriage. She admonishes those of us who get an immediate headache when we hear the word “submissive” and “wife” strung together, saying, it’s “meekness, not weakness.”

Sorry, that defense ain’t flying with me. I’m not a big fan of meekness, either. The “GMA” crew very diplomatically said it is her choice and if it is working for her, fine. (I hope Ali Wentworth gives her husband and GMA host George Stephanopoulos grief about his silence when he gets home.) Here’s my problem with this. Not all that long ago women in this country fought mightily to gain independence and to not be expected to be under the thumb of their husbands. And then someone like Cameron Bure — a celebrity with what looks like a perfect life — comes along and waxes on about how she “loves that my man is a leader” and next thing you know, some young, impressionable women are going to think that’s how they should do it too. But it doesn’t work out like the storybook version Cameron Bure portrays. How many women have found themselves submissive to a partner who turns out to be a bullying tyrant rather than a “leader”? Domestic violence shelters can tell you all about the women they’ve counseled whose “submission” was never enough.

At its worst, a desire for women to submit and be less than their male counterparts is what is at the heart of the attack on Pakistani schoolgirl Malala Yousafzai and the deadly gang rapes in India. Keep those females in line. We’re the country others look up to; do we really want to be promoting submissiveness in females?

Cameron Bure throws up the fact that she’s been married happily for 17 years as proof this is the way it should be. Well, I’ve got 14 more years of marriage on her, and I can tell you two people compromising and negotiating works a lot better.

OK, off the soapbox. Also from this morning:

Kellan Lutz — or Emmett Cullen as “Twilight” fans know him — was talking about his new role as “Hercules” with the “J Show” crew on B96. He knew he was in the running for the role that would have him shirtless and needing to look buff, so he already was working out, just in case. He said when he got the call he had just left the gym. He screamed “so loud” in the parking lot and went ruight back into the gym. All that gym time worked!

You’ve probably heard the news there “may” be a shortage of Velveeta.Watch this funny report on “Today” where they pulled out every pun in the book and brought up the idea that has crossed many minds — is this just a marketing ploy? Funniest moment though, was seeing Matt Lauer, — who’d never eaten Velveeta before — pop a chunk into his mouth. Let’s just say I don’t think he’ll be rushing off to find some for himself anytime soon. 

Actor William H. Macy, plugging the return of his Showtime series, “Shameless,” was brutally honest when telling “CBS This Morning” why he’s not doing much theater these days: “It’s a young man’s game … it’s a lot of work, nobody sees it and you don’t get paid much.” He did say though he thinks he is his best as an actor onstage.

— Sue Ontiveros