Who would win the mascot cage match: Clark the Cub or Southpaw?

Written By Sun-Times Wire Posted: 01/15/2014, 10:11am

The Cubs’ new mascot, Clark, has been the talk of the town since his unveiling on Monday. From the backlash on social media, to Comcast SportsNet Mid-Atlantic’s gaffe where they posted a very NSFW version of Clark, to our own Rick Telander and Neil Steinberg weighing in on the issue, this is the most anyone’s talked about the Cubs in a quite a long time.

Now that we’ve acknowledged the Cubs’ greatest offseason acquisition is a mascot, we have to ask the really important question: Who would win in a crosstown mascot cage match: Clark or Southpaw?

Who would win in a crosstown mascot cage match?

And when you think about it, there’s a good chance we could see the two duke it out at Wrigley or the Cell, considering mascots have settled their grievances in public before. For example:

That one time a Duck beat a Cougar:

When they said someone was going to lose an eye, they weren’t joking:

The Southern Miss and Alabama mascots clearly are WWE fans:

“You don’t take another mascot’s head off” … but this time, they did:

Sometimes you just want to know your mascot can hold his own against drunk and unruly fans (which is an issue on both sides of town):

It’s a Bear vs. a Tree:

And then there was the time the San Diego Chicken took one not for the team, but from the other team: