LaVar Ball and chain: Another stage parent who won’t go away

We’re never going to be free of LaVar Ball. I see that now. I thought, foolishly, he eventually would go away. It’s like thinking you can ignore a toothache into wellness.

I can see there is no such thing as a LaVar extraction or a LaVar-ectomy. I think I knew that in February, when Ball said his son Lonzo, a freshman at UCLA, was better than Steph Curry, a two-time NBA most valuable player. But I chose to disregard his delusion.

Likewise, I think I was into heavy avoidance when Ball said he hoped to get a combined $1 billion shoe contract for his three sons: Lonzo; LiAngelo, who will play at UCLA next season; and LaMelo, a UCLA recruit who is a high school sophomore. But a question did cut through my coping attempts: What kind of father puts that kind of pressure on a high school sophomore?

This guy is LaKooky — and not just because he claimed he could have beaten Michael Jordan one-on-one when Jordan was in his prime. It wasn’t until Lonzo announced he was entering the NBA draft that it finally hit me that we never would be one-and-done with his father.

The comments from LaVar after UCLA lost Friday in the NCAA tournament weren’t incendiary or eye-opening. They were relatively benign — for him, anyway — and that’s what stood out. Lonzo’s college ‘‘career’’ went out with a whimper, with Kentucky freshman De’Aaron Fox outscoring him 39-10. And how did LaVar view Fox’s magnificent game and the crushing end to the Bruins’ season? Through the lens of the NBA, of course.

‘‘One game doesn’t define [Lonzo’s] season,’’ he said. ‘‘No one is going to take De’Aaron Fox over him because of one game. It’s about your body of work, and people know what he can do.’’

Even when LaVar seems to be having a casual conversation, bombast is never far away. Here he speaks of what LiAngelo can do for UCLA:

‘‘He might average 20 next year, maybe even close to 30 a game. He’s been a scorer all his life. He’s led Chino Hills [High School] in scoring all four years. UCLA is losing all their scorers: Lonzo, T.J. [Leaf] and [Isaac] Hamilton. Nobody who’s coming in is a better scorer than Gelo.’’

Those kind of statements surely will get the attention of current UCLA players, who probably think they can play a little bit, and of incoming Bruins freshmen, who might have been under the impression they could put the ball in the basket, too.

The worst nightmare for every self-conscious teenager is a parent who is loud and very public. For them, it’s not just embarrassment; it’s mortification. I don’t know what the Ball brothers think of their dad, but I’m guessing they think resistance is futile. During one game this season, Chino Hills’ coach told his players to stop trapping. From the stands, LaVar yelled at them to start trapping again. The players listened to the parent, not the coach.

As good as Lonzo is — and he is very, very good — any NBA team that wants to draft him had better figure out how much of a pain in the butt his father will be. From afar, it looks as though he’s going to be a massive one.

I’ve always been creeped out by parents like this — by Earl Woods, by Marv Marinovich, by Emmanuel Agassi. By a domineering Marc O’Hair making his 17-year-old son, golfer Sean, sign a contract that required him to pay his father 10 percent of his winnings for life. By Jim Pierce, whose daughter, tennis player Mary, took out a restraining order against him because of his abusive behavior.

Many people will say that if an athlete becomes a superstar because of his or her stage parent, then it was all worth it. It was, if you think fame and money are everything. And many people do. But the athletes who had a number done on them psychologically by pushy parents and didn’t become rich and famous? What about them?

Even the pushed and pressured athletes who do go on to big success often are scarred and damaged by the time they get to adulthood. It’s impossible to look at Tiger Woods’ marital infidelity without looking at his father, who also strayed as a husband. Earl had his son’s life planned out from the child’s first breath.

Lonzo Ball seems like a good kid. I hope he stays that way. If he does, I’m guessing it will have had a lot to do with his mother.

Follow me on Twitter @MorrisseyCST.

Email: rmorrissey@suntimes.com

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