From bad to terrible to awful, the worst movies of 2014.
10. ‘Horrible Bosses 2’
This movie had such little respect for the audience it wasn’t even about horrible bosses. It was about three stooges who come up with the worst idea ever to make it rich: they kidnap the obnoxious son of a wealthy businessman. Nobody gets out of this movie with their dignity, not even the great Christoph Waltz. But Jennifer Aniston has the most embarrassing role, as an insane nymphomaniac. They should have just titled this “Horrible.”
9. ‘If I Stay’
No, you should really go. Chloe Grace Moretz is mired in this ridiculous melodrama that plays like a high school version of “Ghost,” only with a much lesser script. Much of the film involves invisible, spiritual Mia padding about the hospital while the physical Mia is in a coma. When Mia’s boyfriend sings her one last song, I think the poor girl was wishing for the sweet relief of death.
8. ‘Winter’s Tale’
Colin Farrell and Russell Crowe are hopelessly lost in this time traveling debacle that features a magical winged horse that’s really a dog, Will Smith as Lucifer, and William Hurt saying “fillet” should be pronounced FILL-IT because you don’t call a wallet a WALL-AY. Wait, what?
7. ‘That Awkward Moment’
This is a bromance movie that knows nothing about male friendship, romance or comedy. Other than that I loved it. This is one of those desperate films with a number of running gags that start off unfunny and simply get more tiresome the second and third time around.
Proof once again it often takes some really talented people to make memorable garbage. Scarlett Johansson is the title character, who ingests a drug that makes her smarter than everybody — even the pontificating professor played by Morgan Freeman. Directed by Luc Besson, this is a great-looking film, but the smarter Lucy gets, the more idiotic the movie gets.
5. ‘Sex Tape’
Jason Segel, who’s usually very funny, and Cameron Diaz, who can be funny when she’s not trying too hard, flounder about in this raunchy but never sexy comedy. Even the premise — a married couple makes a sex tape and it gets distributed via “the cloud” — doesn’t make sense. About every 10 minutes in this movie, the whole story would come to an end if a character did what any rational human being would do. But, like the hackiest sitcoms, “Sex Tape” keeps plodding along, with nearly every scene landing with a deadly thud.
4. ‘Left Behind’
Nicolas Cage stars in this remake of a Kirk Cameron film — and wrap your mind around that sentence — in this well intentioned but comically inept disaster movie. The special effects are lousy, the acting is shockingly bad and the message is ham-handed and overwrought.
I’m often asked if I ever walk out of a movie, and the answer is no, I always stay to the bitter end, but “Blended” had me itching for the exits. Adam Sandler reteams with his “Wedding Singer” and “50 First Dates” co-star Drew Barrymore in this idiotic, shameless, offensive, pandering, simple-minded, clichéd, vulgar, disturbingly awful film.
2. ‘The Other Woman’
Cameron Diaz makes her second appearance in the Bottom 10. No cliché is left unturned in this would-be feminist revenge fantasy that actually insults women. Leslie Mann and the hopelessly amateurish Kate Upton join Diaz in a series of contrived, hackneyed episodes in which they plot their revenge on Mann’s husband, who has been fooling around with the other two nitwits. And oh yes, this is the kind of movie with the wisecracking black secretary who exists only to comment on her boss’s life and her own wacky romance.
That’s a whole crate of rotten tomatoes, but none can compare with the jaw-dropping awfulness of …
1. “Before I Go To Sleep.”
Remember what I said about truly talented people sometimes producing inexplicably terrible work? Oscar winners Colin Firth and Nicole Kidman star in this dramatic turn on “50 First Dates.” Every morning when Kidman’s Christine wakes up, she doesn’t know who she is, she has no memories, and she doesn’t even recognize her husband, Ben. Every damn day, Ben patiently explains everything to Christine — and then he goes off to work! Every shocking turn in this story is either not so shocking because we saw it coming, or completely senseless. “Before I Go to Sleep,” I try to forget I ever saw this movie.