Cheryl Lavin: Bachelor parties redux — Not worth sweating over

There’s one thing that a bride-to-be worries about almost as much as her dress and her hair and whether her future brother-in-law is going to get drunk and spoil the wedding. And that’s the bachelor party . . .

SELENA: I worked my way through college as a topless waitress. I would go to bachelor parties

every Friday and Saturday night, sometimes two a night during June. I’ve seen everything. Bachelor parties can get pretty nasty because of the groom.

Sure, friends encourage the groom to do some stuff (mainly body shots and lap dances), but it’s

the groom who makes the final choices. If he’s insecure enough to give in to his friends’ coaxing, then he’s too insecure to handle a relationship.

When I got married, I encouraged my husband to have a bachelor party, but I made him agree to one thing: He could do whatever he wanted, but he either had to tell me everything the next day or never tell me. The next day he came home and told me what he did. And what he did was completely harmless.

In my experience, no bride ever called off the wedding because the groom ran off with the stripper.

MARK: I attended a bachelor party that featured a belly dancer whose performance didn’t cross the line into sleaze. Everyone enjoyed a few beers and some hors d’oeuvres. Bachelor parties that feature porn, lap dances, or stripping are stupid, destructive, and lowbrow. On par with smashing the wedding cake into the bride’s face.

After more than 20 years of marriage I’m still wild about my wife. Going to strip joints or using porn would be an insult to her and to our marriage.

LISA: My husband wanted a bachelor party. I said OK because he was being very helpful with the wedding planning. He was startled to find himself hauled onstage at a sleazy strip club by two large, nearly naked women, made to remove his shirt and belt and spanked with his belt. He also got into a fist fight with his brother. He is not a big fan of bachelor parties now.

ELIZABETH: We have a friend who’s getting married in a couple of months, and his fiancee is harassing him about the bachelor party, to the point that he may not have one. My husband and I have talked about this, and I think she’s out of line.

Every guy should be allowed to have a bachelor party, just as every woman should be allowed to have her own party. This is the one night that a guy gets to go out and relive a part of his past. One more

night with his friends. So let him! Who cares? It’s part of the whole wedding hoopla. A bride-to-be should trust her future husband to abide by whatever agreement they have come up with.

Our friend has not done one thing to deserve his fiancee to be on his case like she is. And unfortunately, her own insecurity is going to damage their relationship as he slowly loses his friends because they don’t like to watch her drag him around by his nose.

What kind of men or women do you usually date? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com.