DEAR ABBY: I’m 16 and just got my first job working in food services. I have been working here for about two months, and have grown close with my co-worker “Samantha” and my boss. Samantha quit suddenly a few days ago.
Today she told me our boss had told her he had strong feelings for her. He’s married with kids. I am now very uncomfortable being there, but I still want to continue working for the experience and to save money for college. I’m not sure what to do. I haven’t even told my parents yet. — SERVER GIRL IN CHICAGO
DEAR SERVER GIRL: Now that you know your employer is capable of inappropriate behavior, keep your distance. If he does make a move on you, “remind” him that you are a minor, and if he doesn’t stop it, you will tell your parents and he could get into serious trouble. That should cool his ardor.
DEAR ABBY: I am in a happy relationship with my girlfriend, “Tracy.” Recently, she has been talking on and on about how she is so in love with a particular celebrity. I find it irritating when she says things like, “That’s my man,” or “I had an intense dream about him.”
How am I supposed to react? I feel I should have something clever to say in response. Ordinarily I’m not a jealous person, but lately I have begun feeling that way. Am I being ridiculous? Please help. — REGULAR GUY IN INDIANA
DEAR REGULAR GUY: Ask your girlfriend how she would feel if you kept telling her you’re “in love” with Jennifer Lopez or Beyonce and have “intense” dreams about them. Then skip the clever comeback and tell her honestly that what she’s doing is annoying and you want her to cut it out.
That’s honest and direct, and unless your girlfriend has shredded wheat for brains, she’ll comply.
DEAR ABBY: I had a closet full of clothes I found hard to part with, although they no longer fit me. Usually, I give my gently used clothes to my local donation center, but for the past year I have held on to some expensive designer items that I’m hoping to fit into again.
My sister-in-law helped me move recently and asked me if she could have some of the items. We are close, and I was happy to give them to her because I could see how much she liked them. I have just learned that she took the items to a consignment store and sold them.
If I had known she was going to sell my clothes, I wouldn’t have given them to her. I feel deceived, and the money she received should belong to me. Should I address this issue with her or keep pretending that I know nothing about it?— SWINDLED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR SWINDLED: I’m not sure “swindled” is the word I would choose, but I agree you were taken advantage of because you were led to believe your SIL wanted the clothing for herself.
Because “once a gift is given it belongs to the recipient to do with as she (or he) pleases,” I don’t think you should confront her now. Bide your time, and when she asks you for more things in the future — and she will — that would be the appropriate time to refuse and tell her the reason.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Good advice for everyone —teens to seniors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It.” To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)