Dear Abby: Very slow golfer holds up the game

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DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with a friend I play golf with twice a week. We are part of a group of 12 retired men, and one golfer is an extremely slow player.

By slow, I mean taking a long time between golf shots, checking yardages and taking numerous practice swings before playing. Meanwhile, the rest of us are waiting for him, and we feel pressured to make up the time so our group doesn’t fall behind on the course.

We have all mentioned it to him, but it seems to roll off his back.

It is getting to the point that no one wants to play in his foursome. What’s the best way to handle this? — SLOW BURN IN AUGUSTA

DEAR SLOW BURN: It is unfair to the group for one player to create this kind of problem for the other 11.

Since talking to him about it has had no effect, the person closest to him should speak to him privately and point out that his slow play is creating stress for everyone, and he should either eliminate the problem or play with a different group of golfers.

DEAR ABBY: I was married to my husband for 15 years and we have a set of preteen twins. After he was arrested and put in prison for possession of child pornography, I divorced him. After much counseling, it was determined that he had not hurt our children.

He will be released soon, and I don’t want to see him. However, my twins do want to see their father. He is not allowed unsupervised visits, and I don’t trust his family to watch him closely.

Must I suck it up and let him visit with me present for our children’s sake, or would it be better to cut ties completely and let him fight with the courts? — ANGRY AND DISGUSTED

DEAR ANGRY AND DISGUSTED: Are there any relatives from your side of the family who would be willing to be present? If there are, that might be a solution.

However, if there aren’t, this is something you should discuss with a lawyer because the courts sometimes provide individuals who can supervise visitation.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I moved to Maryland from Florida to be closer to my mom because my dad passed away last March.

Since we’ve been here, my husband has been acting strange. He seems super stressed out, and he is hanging out with people I don’t know and staying out until all hours of the night.

I’m worried that I may have done something wrong that is causing him to act like this. Please help. — CONCERNED IN THE EAST

DEAR CONCERNED: When couples marry, they usually socialize together, not separately.

It is far more likely that your HUSBAND is doing something wrong “that is causing him to act like this” than anything you have done. Your husband may have fallen in with a crowd of singles, drinkers — or heaven knows what.

It’s time to have a frank talk with him and get to the bottom of what’s going on, because something definitely is.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

To order “How to Write Letters for All Occasions,” send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby — Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

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