Dear Abby: Wait to tell dates you’re a potential egg donor

DEAR ABBY: I recently decided that I wanted to help an infertile couple conceive by becoming an egg donor. I’m well-educated and have a job I love. I understand the commitment both time-wise and emotionally. I am now part of a registry, and I could be selected for a donation at any time.

Like other young women, I am dating. However, I am conflicted about whether to tell my dates about my involvement with egg donation and, if so, how. I understand that this is extremely personal, but at the same time I could have genetic offspring out there. Can you advise? — HELPING OUT IN BATON ROUGE

DEAR HELPING OUT: I do not think it would be appropriate to share this information with any man you are seeing casually. However, if a relationship becomes serious, you should discuss it.

A way to start the conversation would be to say, “It’s said that the most meaningful gift a person can give is a gift of self. Well, I have taken it literally.”

DEAR ABBY: My 22-year-old daughter, a recent college graduate, is back living at home. She has been bringing her boyfriends home and having sex in her room.

I have a real problem with it. There are younger children living here. My husband is not aware of what goes on behind her closed doors at night. How should I handle this? — STILL UNDER MY ROOF

DEAR STILL: If you prefer not to involve your husband in this, have a private chat with your daughter and tell her you are not comfortable with her entertaining her boyfriends in your home in the manner you have described. Tell her that if she wants to have sex, she should do it elsewhere — but not under your roof with younger children nearby. Because it’s your home, your rules should apply.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend of two years was offered the opportunity to travel to Nepal for a monthlong stay. Leading up to the trip I tried not to be jealous, but I did say some childish things like, “You’re leaving me for a mountain?” However, before she left, I told her I knew it was a great opportunity and that she should enjoy herself.

She emailed me a couple of nights ago about how she and two of her male guides went to a bar together, where she got drunk. They plan on going to the club again later during the trip.

I trust my girlfriend, but I can’t help but worry that she may be taken advantage of. I didn’t mention my concerns and even encouraged her to go and have fun. But am I wrong to feel worried? Am I being insecure? — LEFT AT HOME IN FLORIDA

DEAR LEFT AT HOME: You’re not wrong to feel worried. Under the circumstances, it’s only normal.

Does your girlfriend drink at home? And if she does, how does it affect her? At high altitudes the effects of alcohol can be magnified.

It’s one thing to be open-minded and quite another to be so open-minded your brains fall out. Rather than encourage her, you should have warned her to be careful because what she did was risky. As for feeling insecure, at this point you’re entitled to feel that way.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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