Dear Abby: Should I stand by my (married) man?

SHARE Dear Abby: Should I stand by my (married) man?

DEAR ABBY: I am a 24-year-old professional woman who has been having an affair with a married man for three years. We have great chemistry, a passionate sex life and endless laughs, and we give each other a lot of support.

He’s married and has children, and when he is with them I find myself incredibly jealous. I feel left out, and I no longer believe he will ever be with me, although he says he will.

Because of his legal status in the U.S., it could take a few years before he becomes a citizen and is able to divorce. Should we take a break and revisit our relationship in a few years, or should I stick by him until everything is sorted out? — JEALOUS, CONFUSED LOVEBIRD

DEAR LOVEBIRD: I’m all for taking that break. The status quo is painful. As things stand, there are no guarantees your lover will ever leave his wife and children for you.

If you take a break, you might meet someone who is eligible and actually willing (and able) to build a future with you. I say, go for it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband takes personal and business calls on his cellphone. When I’m with him, I ask who is calling before he picks up.

He thinks this is “unusual” and becomes upset when I do. I think it is a courtesy to let me know who he is talking to, since I am usually left sitting in the car next to him or at the table with an unfinished meal, playing a guessing game of “who is on the other end.”

Should I bite my tongue, or should he let me know? — WHO’S CALLING

DEAR WHO’S: Unless your husband is a doctor or a bail bondsman, he shouldn’t be taking business calls when you’re having a meal together. If the call is important, he can return it after you have finished eating.

As to being curious about who’s on the other end of the line, if it’s a friend, your husband could do what I do — and that’s mention the name of the person in his greeting or during the course of the conversation.

I don’t think your curiosity is “unusual.” Quite the opposite, in fact. But for heaven’s sake, stop allowing your food to get cold while you wait for him to finish talking. Eat it while it’s hot!

DEAR ABBY: This might seem like a trivial question, but it’s one that has been bothering me for a long time. Does anyone else read the comics back to front, last to first?

I simply can’t enjoy reading them the “normal” way. Am I a horrible person? Do I have OCD? Am I antisocial? Should I write to “Dear Abby”? Oh wait. That’s what I’m doing. Help! — GARY IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR GARY: You are none of the above. Some people do the same thing with mystery novels because they can’t stand the suspense.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: “Abby’s Favorite Recipes” and “More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $14 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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