Dear Abby: My mom’s boyfriend is lame — and married

SHARE Dear Abby: My mom’s boyfriend is lame — and married

DEAR ABBY: My mother is dating a married man, and this is not the first time. While I love her, I don’t think what she’s doing is right.

This affair has been going on for years. I tried broaching the subject with her, but she said it’s her business and unless I’m helping to pay her bills, I don’t have the right to give my opinion. It’s frustrating because she’s driving all over the state with this man. She has two younger daughters at home and she’s rarely home with them.

Our entire family dislikes her lover, but she insists on bringing him around “so we can get to know him.” I don’t want to judge her, but it’s hard sometimes. Am I wrong for trying to give her my two cents, or should I mind my own business? — DISAPPOINTED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: You have already given your mother your two cents and she has discounted it. It should be apparent to you by now that she has no intention of ending this relationship, regardless of your disapproval.

Rather than mind your own business, because you want to do something helpful, be as loving and supportive of your younger sisters as you can. From your description of your mother’s behavior, they need love and attention from an adult they are not receiving from her.

DEAR ABBY: I was divorced 23 years ago. Before I started dating again, I got a hairpiece and have worn one ever since. Some people are aware that I wear a hairpiece, including my current wife of 20 years. It does make me look a lot younger.

I will be turning 55 this year. I’d like to stop wearing the hairpiece and shave my head instead because I have only a fringe of my own hair left.

How should I go about it without getting 50,000 questions from friends and family, and what would be a good answer when I’m asked? — HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW

DEAR H.T.G.T.: Removing your hairpiece will be a statement in itself. Afterward, do not be surprised if you receive compliments about your new look.

Should anyone ask why you decided to do it, tell the truth. Many men with receding hairlines shave their heads and look terrific.

DEAR ABBY: My son died two months ago. He was 51. It happened on my daughter’s birthday. She says that her birthdays have now stopped.

Next year will be a milestone for her as she will be turning 50. How in the world do we celebrate her 50th birthday when we will be thinking about the one-year anniversary of her brother’s death?

Some friends suggested we have her birthday celebration a few days early, which I feel is not right. Please help. — CAROLE IN ARIZONA

DEAR CAROLE: I’m sorry for the loss of your son. From now on, your daughter’s birthday will likely always be bittersweet for her as well as you. That’s why I think she should take your friends’ suggestion and separate the two events, if possible. A small family get-together around the anniversary date of your son’s death might be more appropriate for everyone, at least this time around.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

To order “How to Write Letters for All Occasions,” send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby — Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

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