Dear Abby: I co-signed grandson’s loan that he’s not paying back

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DEAR ABBY: I co-signed a college loan for my grandson. Unfortunately, he didn’t earn passing grades and was kicked out. He frequently misses loan payments, and I end up getting a late payment letter.

I am afraid his inattention to this debt will adversely affect my credit.

I can make the late payment or pull the money out of my savings and pay off the loan. If I pay off the loan, I plan to deduct that amount from his inheritance.

He’s very apologetic about it when I talk to him, but I’m tired of it hanging over my head. How should I handle this? — TIRED OF PAYING

DEAR TIRED OF PAYING: Your grandson’s irresponsibility will reflect on your credit if it hasn’t already.

Pay off the loan and do not co-sign for him again. He should repay the money he borrowed from you as well as any penalties when he begins earning his own money.

However, if he doesn’t, you are within your rights to deduct the amount from his inheritance.

MORE DEAR ABBY: I slapped a friend for using a racial slur How do I tell my friend to quit yelling at his wife? Woman worries friends will find out she’s rich My niece isn’t religious. Can I secretly baptize her child? I’m a shoplifting grandparent, and I need help

DEAR ABBY: I have become completely unemotional. I don’t feel sad when there is a death. I feel no joy when I see a baby and, in fact, think people are selfish for having children in the world we live in today.

When a couple gets married, I also feel — nothing.

I’m 66 and have a great life with no health or financial problems. I’m friendly when I’m out in public, although I’d rather be left alone.

I’m not miserable. I am just burned out on human beings and feel numb. What’s up with me? — ABNORMAL IN ARKANSAS

DEAR ABNORMAL: Have you seen your doctor during the past year? If not, you should, to rule out a physical illness.

If there’s nothing physically wrong, you may be describing something called “ennui” — a kind of world-weariness. (An old song performed by Peggy Lee titled “Is That All There Is?” which you can find on YouTube, expresses it perfectly.)

A change in your routine may give you the jolt you need. If you aren’t in the habit of doing it, 30 minutes of brisk daily exercise might give you a lift.

However, if that doesn’t help your malaise, some sessions with a licensed mental health professional may help you understand why you’ve been feeling the way you do.

DEAR ABBY: Can you and some of your readers give me an answer to a pressing question? I recently remarried, and I still feel like I’m visiting instead of living in my new home.

None of my husband’s late wife’s furniture has been removed to make room for mine. Only a few minor changes have been made. When I suggest any changes, they are ignored.

How can I tactfully make my feelings known? — LIVING WITH A GHOST IN ALABAMA

DEAR LIVING WITH A GHOST: Do that by stating your feelings clearly. This is something the two of you should have reached an understanding about before your wedding.

If your husband continues to ignore you after that, work it out with him with the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist or other mediator.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in “What Every Teen Should Know.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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