What the gun debate really sounds like

Eavesdropping on the inmates at the asylum:

“Too many guns. Take away their guns. Guns are bad.”

“My guns. It’s the rules. I get guns. You can pry them from my cold, dead hands.”

“This time someone has to do something. Children are dying.”

“People kill people. Guns don’t kill people.”

“Our thoughts and prayers are with you during your time of grief. Someone send flowers and teddy bears.”

“I want flowers and teddy bears right now.”

“They are shooting people in church. They are shoot people in schools. They are shooting people in movie theaters. Your children are next. Wait and see.”

“It’s in the Bill of Rights. We have a right to keep and bear arms. The Supreme Court says so. I’m going to make Number Two right here on the floor.”

“Remember Columbine! Never again. Twelve children killed. Time to act.”

“Remember Sandy Hook. Twenty first-graders murdered. Never again!”

“Remember Stoneman Douglas. Seventeen people murdered with an assault rifle. This time will be different.”

“Give the teachers guns. Give the children guns. Criminals will get guns no matter what you do.”

“This is the greatest, freest country in the world.”

“I could use some pain medication.”

“I have some anti-depressants.”

“I can share my medical marijuana.”

“They’re killing children in Chicago every day. They shoot them down like dogs.”

“I hate people who hurt dogs.”

“Why does anyone need an AR-15? Assault rifles should be banned.”

“They’re not assault rifles. And you need them because the government is watching everything we do and they’re going to come after you one day and you better be able to defend yourself.”

“NRA. NRA. NRA.”

“I’m Teddy Roosevelt. Charge!”

“Whatever happened to those bump stocks that were supposed to be banned after Las Vegas?”

“I love Las Vegas.”

“There were 58 people killed and hundreds wounded.”

“I don’t want to think about that. That was a long time ago. Can someone turn Judge Wapner on the TV?”

“Wapner’s gone. We have Judge Judy now.”

“I want my Glock! Who took my Glock?”

“It’s not the guns. It’s mental illness. There are too many mentally ill people in this country.”

“My brother is living in a cardboard box because they closed his mental hospital down.”

“That’s just nuts.”

“I’ve been in and out of jail 11 times in the last year. Police just keep picking me up for taking drugs and robbing stores for food money. Now they give me drugs and food for free.”

“It’s the liberals that are at fault. They just want to take away our guns.”

“Illegals have more rights than we do.”

“See no evil, speak no evil.”

“You mean, say something do something.”

“No, you’re not supposed to do anything. Shelter in place and wait to get shot.”

“We shoot more people than anyone in the world. We have more people in prison than anyone in the world.

We have more people taking drugs than anyone in the world. We’re No. 1!”

“USA! USA!”

Yes, mental illness is truly the problem.

Email: philkadner@gmail.com

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