For the first time in 10 years, the Blackhawks are uninteresting — and dare I writeirrelevant.
After two consecutive first-round exits, the Hawks are missing the playoffs for the first time in nearly a decade.
Fans, who were spoiled with three Stanley Cups in six years, feel drained by the Hawks’ disappointing season. They didn’t realize how good they had it at the height of the team’s glory.
So in anattempt to make something fun out of a season that has been an emotional rollercoaster, let’s pretend Hollywood would pick up the rights to produce a movie about the Hawks and how they went from the dark ages to a beautiful dynasty.
Who would play the players and team personnel?
Here is a list of potential candidates:
Keanu Reeves as Jonathan Toews
Hayden Christensen as Patrick Kane
Bradley Cooper as Patrick Sharp
Theon Greyjoy as Artemi Panarin
Sean Bean as Marian Hossa
…Or Mike Montgomery as Hossa
Hell, maybe even Kevin McKidd as Hossa?
Chiwetel Ejiofor as Johnny Oduya
Aaron Paul as Dave Bolland
Charlie Day as Andrew Shaw
Steven Strait as Corey Crawford
Ed Norton as Duncan Keith
Seth Rollins as Brandon Saad
Will Ferrell as Brian Campbell
Patrick Dempsey as Adam Burish
Daniel Day-Lewis as Coach Joel Quenneville
(Here’s a photo of Quenneville for reference)
Principal Skinner as John McDonough
(Here’s a picture of John McDonough for reference)
Brandon Bollig as Brandon Bollig
Oh, and our very own Mark Lazerus?
How about Jeff Goldblum.
OK, casting the movie version of my book chronicling the Blackhawks rise from 2007-2015. Obviously, Ashton Kutcher is playing Michael Frolik. Who else you got?— Mark Lazerus (@MarkLazerus) February 28, 2018