DEAR ABBY: I am a woman in my 30s working two jobs to make ends meet after a divorce. A few months ago, I met a nice gentleman who has been understanding about my situation and crazy hours, and we have a pretty stable relationship. Feelings have developed, and we’re thinking about getting more serious.
He recently disclosed that he’s actually very wealthy. He works full time and has a modest lifestyle, so the news caught me off-guard.
I enjoyed his company before the revelation, and I almost wish he hadn’t told me. Now that his secret is out, he has been going over the top with gifts and offering to pay for things so I won’t have to work a second job.
Because I have always worked hard and offered to pay for dates, I have declined his offers, and I feel really awkward about accepting the extravagant gifts he insists on giving me. I think it’s making him more attracted to me because I’m not like his past girlfriends who tried to take advantage of his wealth.
This may seem like a happy complaint, but I’m starting to have doubts about this relationship because it seems like we live in completely different worlds. I really like him and want this to work out, regardless of his money. Do you think there’s a way to salvage this relationship and turn it back to the way things were? — DON’T WANT THE GLASS SLIPPERS
DEAR DON’T: I sure do. Tell the gentleman exactly what you told me, or show him this column and tell him the letter was written by you. In a successful relationship, honest communication is essential. Now that you know more about his financial situation, things will never be the way they were, but by continuing the conversation, the two of you can navigate through this.
DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a man for three years. When we first met, he bonded very well with my three adult children. They liked him, and he was invited to every occasion.
My ex-husband is gay and is now married to his partner. We have remained friends and have even spent some occasions together. My boyfriend thinks this is totally dysfunctional, so I agreed that we would not spend occasions together anymore.
About a year ago, he started not wanting to participate in any event with my kids. We argued, and he said some nasty things about them. I was appalled. Had he just pretended to like them? He has had nothing to do with them for months.
My son is getting married next week, and when I told my boyfriend I don’t think it’s right that he come, he flipped out. Why would a man who didn’t want anything to do with my kids expect to be welcomed at their wedding? Am I wrong? — PERPLEXED IN FLORIDA
DEAR PERPLEXED: Your children are not wrong. You are not wrong. The man you have been involved with for three years appears to be determined to isolate you from those to whom you are closest, and it is a big red flag!
This isn’t a question of right or wrong. It’s a question of whether you want to continue a relationship with him and, if so, at what cost.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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