Is Illinois better than Northwestern? SEC East, ACC Coastal say ‘hold my beer’ to Big Ten West

There’s only so much excitement with which one can reasonably react to Illinois’ 42-3 opening win against lowly Akron, but when have I pretended to be reasonable? This is a different Illini team — bigger, faster, more talented and easily Lovie Smith’s best to date. I’m already doubling down on my preseason prediction that the Illini will reach bowl eligibility.

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Illinois v Rutgers

Lovie Smith has his best Illini team on his hands.

Photo by Corey Perrine/Getty Images

There’s only one way ninth-ranked Notre Dame can steal the headlines coming out of Week 1 of the college football season: by losing Monday night at not-what-it-used-to-be Louisville.

It would be a colossal upset. It would mean instantly irreparable damage to the Irish’s hopes of returning to the playoff. It would require near-unthinkable breakdowns by Brian Kelly’s offense and/or defense.

It would set the Irish program back years.

Is that dramatic enough?

Don’t worry. It won’t happen.

But let’s focus here on the action that has already unfolded. The rest of the season debut of the “Big 10” (where 10 actually means 10): 

Buyin’ Illini: There’s only so much excitement one should reasonably glean from Illinois’ 42-3 opening victory against lowly Akron, but when have I pretended to be reasonable? This is a different Illini team — bigger, faster, more talented and easily Lovie Smith’s best to date. I’m already doubling down on my preseason prediction that the Illini will reach bowl eligibility.

The grad transfers from USC alone — defensive end Oluwole Betiku Jr. and receivers Trevon Sidney and Josh Imatorbhebhe — have raised the bar dramatically. Betiku had two sacks in his debut. Sidney caught a touchdown. And don’t forget the new quarterback, grad transfer Brandon Peters from Michigan. He’s a good one.

Bungle ’Cats: How bad was Northwestern’s offense in a 17-7 loss at Stanford? So bad, you really have to wonder what the Wildcats were doing all summer while other teams were practicing football. At least now we know why Pat Fitzgerald was so secretive about his quarterback situation leading into the opener.

Big dud: No more talk of Big Ten West improvement, OK? Not after Purdue’s meltdown in a ridiculous loss at Nevada. Not after Northwestern’s no-show. Not after Nebraska struggled to put away South Alabama and Minnesota hung on for dear life against South Dakota State.

Same old, same old.

You get the picture.

5  Could’ve been worse: Conference imbalance is an ongoing negative issue in college football, nowhere more so, apparently, than in the ACC and the SEC.

ACC Coastal teams went a putrid 2-5 in their openers. The SEC East gagged its way to losses by Missouri at Wyoming, South Carolina vs. North Carolina and — the humanity! — Tennessee at home to Georgia State.

Otherwise known as “hold my beer”-ing the Big Ten West.

6 Return of the Mack: Didn’t North Carolina lose nine games each in 2017 and 2018? Yet the Tar Heels needed all of one outing under Mack Brown, in his second stint at the school, to get back on track. All those schools and fan bases that make endless excuses about how much time it takes to play decent football again should take heed.

7 Bo Nix, your table is ready: The freshman quarterback, who led a stirring comeback to beat Oregon, is the new king of Auburn. You don’t have to like how much Nix will be talked about on ESPN and in the rest of the national media this season, but you won’t be able to stop it.

8 The plan isn’t working: Biggest disaster — Chip Kelly at UCLA, Kevin Sumlin at Arizona or Charlie Strong at USF? It wasn’t long ago when any of the three could have written his own ticket just about anywhere.

9 That’s what he said: “A very disappointing and embarrassing loss. There’s no reason for that. I thought I had them ready to play. Guess I didn’t.”

That was Strong after the Bulls were destroyed 49-0 by Wisconsin on their home field in Tampa. Is it too late for him to turn back the clock six years and never leave Louisville for Texas?

10 And another thing: Made me nuts to see FCS upset hopeful Northern Iowa kick a game-tying PAT, rather than try a two-point conversion, in double overtime at No. 24 Iowa State. Come on, man — you have to go for two there.

Needless to say, Iowa State ended up winning the thing in anticlimactic fashion. To which I say: Boo and harrumph.

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