‘7 Days to Vegas’: In both poker and comedy, gambling romp knows its stuff

The prop bet, aka “proposition bet,” aka side bet, has long been popular among gamblers who crave extra and constant action.

It can be anything from a wager on whether the next football play will be a run or a pass, or if the Super Bowl coin toss will be heads or tails, to more exotic and crazy bets, e.g., whether a vegan will eat (and keep down) an entire cheeseburger for $10,000, or if a man could live in isolation in a dark, unlit bathroom for 30 days, or if a man would agree to get breast implants for $100,000.

These are not hypotheticals. They’re real bets. The guy that got the breast implants liked ’em so much he decided to keep them even after the designated time period. People are crazy.

In the breezy and authentically absurd gambling romp “7 Days to Vegas,” a down-on-his-luck actor-turned-poker player named Duke (played by the actor-turned-poker player and TV poker commentator Vincent Van Pattern) makes a seven-figure prop bet he can walk the 280 miles from the San Fernando Valley to Las Vegas in just one week.

And he has to do it while wearing a suit and taking only the occasional short break in the air-conditioned RV populated by a wacky cast of characters, including the blowhard movie director who is betting against him and a small band of supportive fellow degenerate gamblers.

Loosely inspired by some of Van Patten’s adventures as the host of a Hollywood home poker game and directed with drive-in movie style by actor Eric Balfour, “7 Days to Vegas” takes us on a brief tour of Duke’s career dive from movies to infomercials to a profitable career change as the host of high-stakes poker games.

To the delight of Duke’s wife KC (played by Van Patten’s real-life spouse, soap opera legend Eileen Davidson) and his troublemaking but irresistibly charming little brother Carl (played to terrific comedic effect by Van Patten’s little brother James), he’s raking in so much he’s literally burying piles of cash in the backyard — but when Duke invests it all with a billionaire investor (James O’Hurley) who turns out to be a Ponzi scheme con artist, he finds himself broke and desperate to make a big score.

Enter the wildly successful and insufferably egotistical British director Sebastian (Ross McCall, sounding exactly like Jason Statham), a hardcore gambler who delights in humiliating opponents at the poker table and isn’t above engaging in some shady antics in order to gain an edge in any kind of wager.

Knowing it’s all but impossible for anyone to cover some 40 miles per day for seven straight days in the blazing sun, Sebastian puts up $5 million to Duke’s $1 million (a benefactor puts up the money for Duke) and challenges him to make the walk to Vegas.

“7 Days to Vegas” is filled with cameos from familiar faces such as Chad Lowe as a county sheriff with aspirations to get into show biz; Paul Walter Hauser (“I, Tonya,” “BlacKkKlansman”) as a poker player/ventriloquist who is sweet and quiet, unlike his brash and wildly inappropriate puppet alter ego; and the veteran character actor Don Stark (“That ’70s Show”) as a perhaps mobbed-up guy known as Angry Jim because he’s always, well, angry.

Gambling insiders will recognize the authentic representation of that world throughout the movie. But even if you don’t know a busted straight from a royal flush and you’ve never heard of a prop bet until now, “7 Days to Vegas” works as a broad and funny comedy about some truly bent but hilarious characters.