Random thoughts about those face masks

You don’t have to shave your face well, or at all. You don’t have to wax your mustache or chin hair.

Lipstick, while a mood enhancer, won’t be seen.

It will be hard to tell if we are smiling at people in the street or glowering.

If the eyes are the windows of the soul, it’s time to make eye contact with our neighbors and people on the street. Make widened happy eyes to show affection and approval. Narrow those babies to show displeasure. Squint to communicate disdain. Wink to show appreciation of another set of fine eyes.

Eyebrows will be worn thicker this season to give definition to the face. Teeth should remain brushed, but no one will see the kale stuck to your teeth with a face mask.

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If you really annoy me, you won’t see me stick my tongue out at you. Bliss.

Sipping milk shakes through a straw, under the mask, doesn’t count if you’re counting calories. Why? It just doesn’t. Newton’s law of gravity or physics or some other scientific principle I wasn’t taught in Catholic school.

You won’t need Botox to fill out your lips as they won’t be seen. Or a nose job. Cyrano is back, baby. You can let your face hang out.

Making kissy noises with your lips won’t be noticed.

This is the time to take up Marcel Marceau-inspired mime movements. Communicate with the arms and hands and body to convey your emotions. Dip your shoulders, wiggle those hips. Think Balinese dancers.

I predict that after this terrible virus outbreak, we will be more adept at expressing ourselves without using our big mouths.

Felicia Carparelli, East Side

Medical experts vs. conservative media

The White House is cleverly playing both ends against the middle during the coronavirus outbreak.

On the one end, they trot out medical experts who advise people to stay at home and/or practice social distancing. On the other end, they send out talking points to the vast conservative media that advance the idea that the partial shutdown of the economy is a liberal hoax to destroy the economy and the presidency of Donald Trump.

Rush Limbaugh, the grand pooh-bah of talk radio, says it is more important to save the economy than a few lives and advocates ending the partial shutdown and returning people to work.

So what is the truth? Do we believe medical experts or the conservative media?

An easy decision.

Victor Darst, Huntley