DEAR ABBY: My son (age 30) is getting a liver transplant soon, and my ex-husband (son’s father) refuses to use personal protective equipment in his encounters with others because he thinks his civil liberties are being violated. We don’t communicate often because the new wife is a very unpleasant person who took my house away 10 years ago. I’m OK with that because I landed on my feet in a much better situation, but I do not trust her or speak to her.
I have left posts on Facebook requesting that those who intend to help my son use PPE for at least two weeks before seeing him. So far, my ex has not responded. How can I get him to understand that this is HIS child and not wearing PPE could kill him? — COVID CONCERNED IN GEORGIA
DEAR COVID CONCERNED: Your son’s transplant specialist should be asked to send your ex a registered letter explaining the precautions that must be taken if he visits his son and how important they are. I am crossing my fingers that the doctor will do it. But your son must understand that if Daddy is unwilling to cooperate, HE (your son), not you, is the person who must enforce that rule because he will be immunocompromised, and his life depends on it. As much as you might wish to, you cannot police every encounter Daddy has with his adult son.
DEAR ABBY: My hairdresser, former neighbor and friend recommended her unemployed brother to do some minor repairs to my home. He and his sister were trying to push me into a relationship. I am a widow with no children. I have no mortgages, car notes, etc. I’m not wealthy, but I am well set.
My hairdresser recently mentioned that her brother was using crack cocaine again. I’m furious that she didn’t disclose her brother’s addiction sooner. Should I let it go or confront her about this? I really don’t want to lose my hairdresser. — STYLED RIGHT IN THE SOUTH
DEAR STYLED: You are certainly free to ask your hairdresser why she didn’t tell you her brother had a crack habit before recommending him to do repairs in your home. It’s a fair question, if nothing is missing and the repairs were done properly. Refrain from doing it while you are angry. If you hang onto your temper, there is no reason why your relationship with the woman should end.
As to a relationship with the brother, no law says you must have one with him. You don’t have to be confrontational, but be less available. As you spend more time with other people, he will get the message.
DEAR ABBY: Last year, relatives said they would attend a party we were hosting. They didn’t come, and we never received any reason why. We had to pay for their dinners. We may see them at an upcoming social event. How should we greet them? — ANNOYED IN OHIO
DEAR ANNOYED: What your relatives did was rude and inconsiderate. When you see them, say hello and calmly ask why they didn’t show up. Be polite, which they weren’t — and in the future remove them from your guest list if their answer doesn’t satisfy you.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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