DEAR ABBY: This is a delicate situation. Four days after my boyfriend (whom I had been seeing for 8 1/2 years) was killed in an accident, I found out he was married. He had claimed for years that he was divorced and even produced a copy of his divorce decree several years ago. It is a long story.
He has been dead for five months now, and I need something back from his wife that he borrowed from me: my father’s Mason ring. I was devastated when I learned he was married and had lied to me all those years, but I have no intention of telling his wife or causing her pain. (I don’t think she knows about me.) I would like the ring back because my father passed away many years ago, and I want to pass it on to my daughter, who never knew her grandfather. He died before she was born.
My boyfriend’s sister (who lives with his wife) knows about me. She told me she won’t tell her sister-in-law, and I should leave her alone. I’m not trying to hurt anyone because I wouldn’t want anyone to do this to me if I was in her place, but I am lost about how to approach this. — TWISTED SITUATION DOWN SOUTH
DEAR TWISTED SITUATION: I assume you have explained the situation to the wife’s sister-in-law. Contact her once more and tell her you want the ring and need her help to get it back without starting WWIII. However, if she’s still uncooperative, you may need a lawyer to write the grieving widow a registered letter explaining the entire situation and asking that the ring be returned. (I’m hoping there are identifying initials engraved inside that do not match her husband’s.)
DEAR ABBY: I am 9 years old, and I have a twin brother. Sometimes he’s nice to me and other times he’s annoying. When he’s annoying, sometimes he doesn’t stop. Everywhere I go — our car, the kitchen, table, everywhere — I hear him babbling about nonsense. Even in my happy place (my bedroom). I wish I could lock my door, but my parents keep telling me not to lock ANY of the doors (except the car) in the house. Could you tell me what to do, please? I’d really like to stop being annoyed for once in my life. — BOTHERED TWIN IN AUSTIN, TEXAS
DEAR TWIN: Is your brother TRYING to be annoying, or is he just ... annoying? If it’s the former, talk to your parents about it because he may need to be put on notice. If it’s the latter, then YOU should talk to him.
Explain that sometimes you don’t feel like talking or playing and you need to be left alone. Agree on a signal — like hanging a sock (or some other item) on the outside bedroom door knob so he’ll know. And when you do, make sure you let him know you’ll do the same for him when the situations are reversed, because they will be.
DEAR ABBY: Easter is a day to be thankful for Christ that our sins are forgiven. Opinionated atheists at the dinner table distract from the meaning of the celebration. Is it wrong on Easter Sunday to exclude relatives who no longer practice the Christian faith? — SAVED IN MINNESOTA
DEAR SAVED: Before making up your mind, ask yourself, “What would Jesus do?”
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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