Dear Abby: I love a man who is 21 years younger and has never met me in person

Woman, 63, wonders: Does this online-only relationship have a future?

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DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, I met a wonderful man online. He’s from Wales in the U.K. He’s 21 years younger than I am, so, naturally, I’m cautious about how our relationship will hold up through the years. (He’s 42; I’m 63.)

He says I am everything he’s dreamed of, and more. He’s nonjudgmental, kind, sweet and very witty. His intelligence amazes me. I love and respect him more than any person I have ever known. Is it possible to have a long-lasting relationship when there is this kind of age difference? — FOUND MR. WONDERFUL

DEAR FOUND: It is possible, but it is unusual. If you know this person only online, I caution you to get to know him, his family and his friends IN PERSON before making any formal commitments. I say this because he may not actually be the person he is representing himself to be, and women in your situation have been taken advantage of. This man may be married. Because of this, you should never send him money, even if it’s only a “temporary loan.”

DEAR ABBY: My sister is the worship leader at our church, but I sometimes fill in for her. When I do, I receive a lot of compliments in the form of comparing the two of us. For example, “Your sister is great, but I like it better when you sing.” It makes me uncomfortable because I want us both to do well in life. I have no desire to outshine my sister. How can I correct this when it happens without shaming the person? — EMBARRASSED IN AURORA

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Make a list of things your sister does better than you in her capacity as worship leader. Then respond to the compliment by saying, “Thanks for the kind words, but my sister is better than I am at ...”, and mention several of them.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 22 years but I have a strong affection for my male best friend, “Ryder.” He’s extremely easy on the eyes, so much so that even strangers comment on how handsome he is. Sometimes we nap together and take turns being the big spoon. Occasionally, he will put his tongue in my ear, and I think it’s cute. My husband is OK with it and shows no signs of jealousy. I’m pretty sure my feelings are reciprocated because when Ryder looks at me with those big brown eyes, it’s as though he is shooting love daggers my way, and he winks at me often.

Next week my husband and I are having eye exams. Would it be too much to ask him to get colored contacts to match our German shepherd? — DIANA IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DIANA: That’s a doggone good question. Since your husband hasn’t objected to the spooning and the licking, I’m sure he would fur-give you.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order “How to Have a Lovely Wedding.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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