Just Sayin’: Illinois, a 26-9 winner at Nebraska, is the big, bad wolf of the Big Ten West

On the fifth play of the game, they scored a touchdown. Six plays after that, they forced their first turnover.

Same old, same old. The Illini aren’t playing around. They’re skipping the huffing and the puffing and going straight to blowing opponents’ houses down.

On Saturday, it was Nebraska’s. The Huskers were outclassed every which way in Illinois’ 26-9 win.

Anyone still waiting for the rug to be pulled out from the Illini has missed the point: Illinois is the big, bad wolf of the Big Ten West. Illinois is going to win the division, go to Indianapolis to take on a College Football Playoff contender from the East and, well, who knows? I’m done putting anything past this team.

The Illini are 7-1 for the first time since 2001. They haven’t had a better eight-game record since 1951, when they finished unbeaten as Rose Bowl champions. They haven’t even won seven games in an entire season since 2011, and this one likely has six games to go.

Bret Bielema for national coach of the year? Sure, it could happen.

But it’s not just that the Illini are winning. Some upstart teams find a way here, find a way there and end up with more “W’s” than anyone would’ve expected. The Illini are destroying whatever is in their path. Nebraska had all of 29 yards in the second half. A good sneeze travels almost that far.

In eight games, the Illini have allowed 17 second-half points. In eight fourth quarters, they’ve allowed a total of seven points. It sounds pretty scary for the other guys, doesn’t it? And it is.

There are always individual heroes. Quarterback Tommy DeVito completed 20 of 22 passes against the Huskers. How did this terrific transfer ever lose his starting job at Syracuse to Garrett Shrader, who looked like a lost puppy Saturday against Notre Dame’s defense? Indefatigable running back Chase Brown carried another 32 times for 149 yards and a touchdown and caught a scoring pass on a slick wheel route. Safety Sydney Brown, Chase’s twin, picked off two passes. Not the worst day for that family.

But this team is the story. Illinois is the big, bad wolf of the West. And how does that sound?

THREE-DOT DASH

Notre Dame was 4-0 against Syracuse under Brian Kelly, with each win pretty lopsided. Saturday’s 41-24 victory was more impressive than any of those, because the Irish were on the road as underdogs. It was a big day for Kelly’s successor, Marcus Freeman, whose team ragdolled the 16th-ranked Orange up front on both sides of the ball. That’s what a building-block win looks like. …

Photo by Scott Taetsch/Getty Images

Turns out Ohio State does, in fact, have a heck of a defense, and its name is J.T. Tuimoloau. The defensive end had two interceptions, one of which he took back for a pick-six, and two sacks, one of which was a strip-sack that he recovered deep in Penn State territory to set up a score, in a performance so preposterously good, Chase Young and the Bosa brothers must’ve been jealous. …

Iowa: “We have the worst offense in the history of mankind.”

Northwestern: “Hold our beers.”

Didn’t realize it was possible to give up 33 points and almost 400 yards to these Hawkeyes, but the Wildcats did it. Pat Fitzgerald and Co. have lost 13 of their last 14 games. But, hey, big stadium plans. …

An email came in claiming the Bulls are the most popular NBA team in eight European countries, including Poland, Romania and Hungary, according to an analysis of Google searches. One can only assume most of the searches were, “Why is Patrick Williams still starting?” …

My five for the AP college basketball preseason All-American team were Indiana’s Trayce Jackson-Davis, North Carolina’s Caleb Love, Houston’s Marcus Sasser, Gonzaga’s Drew Timme and Kentucky’s Oscar Tshiebwe. …

Cowboys 23, Bears 17. Not bad, but not good enough.

THIS YOU GOTTA SEE

Packers at Bills (Sunday, 7:20 p.m., Ch. 5, Peacock): Better team: Buffalo, clearly. Better QB: Josh Allen, no doubt. Aaron Rodgers and the Packers are desperate to avoid what would be their first four-game losing streak since 2016, when — of flippin’ course — they swept the Bears and won the division anyway.

Astros at Phillies, Game 3 (7 p.m., Fox-32): Citizens Bank Park is hoping for a celebration like it hasn’t seen since the Fightin’ Phils zapped Joe Maddon’s Rays for the World Series crown in 2008. That was so long ago, some people actually believed Maddon knew a thing or two about baseball.

College Football Playoff rankings show (Tuesday, 6 p.m., ESPN): Georgia will be No. 1 on the initial list, but you probably figured that already. After that, the fun begins.

ONLY BECAUSE YOU ASKED

Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images

From Bobby, via email: “You reporters talk about Kyle Schwarber like he’s the greatest player in baseball, but he’s still a DH dressed up as an everyday player. Do you ‘experts’ know anything about baseball?”

I’ll have you know I played the game until I was 11, sir. And if that doesn’t convince you, take it from Jason Heyward, a five-time Gold Glove winner, who before the 2020 season called Schwarber the most-improved outfielder he’d ever played with. Yes, that compliment should be taken with a grain of salt because Schwarber started from the very bottom in left — we all remember some hilariously bad moments — but there’s no denying how hard he has worked at it. He has aggressive instincts, runs OK, throws well. He’s no disaster out there.

Plus, every once in a blue moon, he hits a ball just far enough to clear the outfield fence.

THE BOTTOM FIVE

Knee management: So the Bulls are just going to lose when $215 million man Zach LaVine sits? And we’re going to do this all season? Woof.

The “1-foot line”: Football announcers can pretend it exists all they want, but don’t you fall for it.

Oklahoma State: The No. 9 team in the country went to Kansas State and lost by 48. Yes, in football. Way to show up, fellas.

Illinois’ three-point shooting: The Illini beat Quincy by 35 in an exhibition but were an atrocious 6-for-34 from the arc. Whom do they think they are, the Lakers?

The Anaheim Ducks: Eight games in and already with a minus-20 goal differential? Kindergarten soccer coaches have been fired for less.