Dear Abby: Man’s ‘side piece’ needs to leave, but she can’t resist him

Though she knows she deserves better and needs to get out, woman is falling in love with her married co-worker.

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DEAR ABBY: I’ve been in a relationship with a man I met at work. It took me six months to decide to be intimate with him, and it will be a year next month. Things are going great. The only issue is, he has a wife and kids. (The children are about my age.)

I am young and beautiful and I know I deserve more. But I’m falling in love with this man, and I can’t resist our passionate sex life. He’s done things with me I’ve never experienced before. We see each other often, and I enjoy his company.

This is the first time I have ever been a “side piece,” and it bothers me that the time we spend together is limited and I can only call within certain hours. I know he likes me, but my feelings for him are way stronger.

How do I resist my yearning to want to be around him or just talk on the phone? Should I change jobs to have a new beginning, or consider a relationship with someone who doesn’t have to be a secret? How can I end this when, with every fiber of my being, I want to stay? — MISTRESS IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR MISTRESS: This affair is going nowhere, so sharpen your survival instincts. Wake up and realize it could go on until he decides to trade you in for a younger, fresher “side piece” he can impress with his prowess. I’m willing to bet you are not his first, nor will you be the last.

Quitting this person will not be entirely painless, but do it cold turkey anyway. You already know how. And if you’re feeling generous when you wave goodbye, thank him for the many valuable lessons he’s taught you, because you intend to share them with younger, stronger, single men. Believe me, there are plenty out there.

DEAR ABBY: I am pregnant with my second child. My first child is a girl and so is the baby I am expecting. A few months ago, my husband’s cousin gave birth to a girl. The baby had a heart defect that unfortunately could not be repaired. She died four days after birth. My heart was broken for not only this baby girl but also her parents. I cannot fathom what it would be like to lose my child.

While I have shared my good news with close family, I have not shared it on social media out of respect for my husband’s cousin. I’m torn because this is a happy time in my life and I would love to share my news, but I worry it would be insensitive. I have confided my concerns to a few friends. They are divided about how I should proceed, so I am hoping you can offer guidance. — FEELING HER LOSS IN NEW YORK

DEAR FEELING HER LOSS: Sooner or later, your husband’s cousin and her husband are going to learn about your pregnancy, if they don’t already know. The kind thing to do would be to let them hear about it directly from you rather than via a post on social media. After you have spoken with them, you can then share the happy news of the impending arrival for all of your friends to see.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: “Abby’s Favorite Recipes” and “More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $16 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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