DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are expecting our second child. Our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, so we were overjoyed to find out I was pregnant again, this time with a little girl. We’ve already given her the name “Mandy.”
Everything was going well until a month ago. My mother-in-law came over for her birthday to have cake. I hadn’t seen her all weekend. Because our relationship isn’t as good as it could be, I didn’t ask her why. Two days later she announced to my husband she had COVID and we should get tested, too. She had spent that entire weekend out, running around, seeing people and going places. Then she came to our home where I was 21 weeks pregnant and doing everything to keep this pregnancy.
I became violently ill for two weeks and, although I recovered, I spent three nights in the hospital because our baby is now suffering from my being sick. I am now on bed rest. We have no option other than getting through day by day to help buy Mandy more time inside to grow.
I am struggling with anger and resentment toward my MIL, but I’m trying to stay positive and avoid the toxicity so that Mandy has a fighting chance. When all this settles down, how do I even begin to address this with my MIL? — INCENSED IN THE EAST
DEAR INCENSED: You are doing the right thing now by focusing on your little girl. How you deal with this in the future should be guided by the answer to this question: When your mother-in-law learned you had gotten sick because she exposed you, did she apologize?
If she knew she “had a little something” and came over anyway, let that guide you and your husband in your interactions with her in the future because her judgment is atrocious. If not, try to forgive her for this awful scare and let her build bridges if she’s capable of it.
DEAR ABBY: Four years ago, I found out my husband of 28 years had a fling with a co-worker. Two weeks after it was exposed, the girl quit. I was devastated, but we reconciled.
During our reconciliation, I learned that five or six years before the affair, my best friend, “Molly,” had made some moves on my husband on an overnight work trip. (She is known to be a little loose.) She was the manager of a seasonal store, and they had to go to another store about five hours away, which entailed staying overnight. He never again mentioned the affair.
I have ghosted Molly ever since. She was my best friend since childhood, and I felt it was the ultimate betrayal. As far as I’m concerned, she’s out of my life. She has recently begun sending me requests on Facebook. I know in time she will call again. I don’t want to talk to her, nor do I know what to say. Please help me. — BURNED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR BURNED: Stop hiding. If Molly calls you, accept her call, tell her you know what she did with your husband on that trip, that you feel it was the ultimate betrayal and you do not want to hear from her again. Then end the call.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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