Dear Abby: Friend gives me dating advice when what I really want is her

Divorced man feels comfortable with his caring friend but fears rejection if he were to say anything.

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DEAR ABBY: I am a man who has been single for a while. I have two female friends who I feel genuinely care about me. They each have told me that I should go on social media and start dating. I’m not really interested in doing that.

I want to remarry one day, but for the right reasons, not because I’m lonely. I want to be with that person because they make me better and make me smile. When I see her photo, and see or hear her name, I want my heart and face to light up.

The fact is, I’m in love with one of my two friends. She ticks off all those boxes. It has been a while since my divorce, and when we are together, I feel comfortable, warm and safe. I guess I’m afraid her answer would be no. Advice? — TAKING A CHANCE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TAKING: Oh, yes. Swing for the fences! Tell her how you feel. If her answer is no — and I’m betting it won’t be — go on a dating site THEN. In cases like this, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

DEAR ABBY: I don’t think I’ve read about this problem before, and I can’t find help on the internet. I have been married for many years and have had this problem from the beginning. Every time I touch or snuggle up next to my husband, he starts sweating profusely. It starts within just a second or two. It’s not just his torso, but even his arms and legs, or any place my skin touches his.

This is a huge turn-off because it’s like snuggling up to a slimy animal. This has affected our sex life our entire marriage. Wearing pajamas is obviously out of the question for him because he runs hot. Has anybody ever written to you about this particular problem? — SWEATING IN GEORGIA

DEAR SWEATING: I can’t recall having been asked about something like this, nor have I heard of it. I’m unsure if your husband needs to consult a dermatologist or a psychologist to understand what’s causing it, but if I were him, I’d start with a call to my doctor.

DEAR ABBY: I like to have buffets for large numbers of guests, but during a recent party, the food and table were ready, but nobody started. Then a guest asked me — the host — to start so that everyone could eat. I was always taught that the host or hostess always went last. I tried to research the answer, but can’t find one. What is polite? Who should start the buffet? — GETTING STARTED IN GEORGIA

DEAR GETTING STARTED: Because announcing, “Folks, the buffet is open” hasn’t worked, try this: Ask a couple of your closest friends to get in line and start helping themselves so the others will follow suit. Nothing stimulates the appetite like seeing others filling up.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

To order “How to Write Letters for All Occasions,” send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby — Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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