USA Today dumps on Bears, leading columnist to question everything in life

By Rick Morrissey

USA Today predicts that new Bears coach John Fox won’t be smiling at the end of the season.

If someone is going to call the Bears the worst team in the NFL, shouldn’t I be the one doing the calling out? Haven’t you come to expect that sort of pessimism from your favorite Eeyore of a columnist?

USA Today says the Bears will be the dregs of the league this season. A 3-13 record will be the result, the newspaper says.

I’ve been trying to decide between five or six victories for the Monsters. The defense can’t be as bad as last year’s unit was and if Jay Cutler can improve and … what’s happening to me?!

Is the light gaining ground on the darkness? Am I losing my fastball, you know, football-wise? Is there a 2-14 prediction somewhere inside me?

Clearly, I have some deep soul-searching to do.

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