Former Bull Jason Caffey opens up about his battles with depression, anxiety

If it wasn’t for his time with the Bulls, Jason Caffey isn’t sure he still would be alive.

Caffey, who won an NBA title with the Bulls, had the potential to rise to stardom in the NBA. After the Bulls drafted him out of Alabama in the first round of the 1995 NBA Draft, Caffey was molded by veterans Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen and Dennis Rodman. They instilled in Caffey a tireless work ethic and a “never quit” attitude.

He calls those first two seasons with the Bulls “one of the greatest experiences of my life.”

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The Bulls eventually traded Caffey to the Warriors. During the 1999-2000 season, Caffey averaged 12 points and 6.8 rebounds, both career highs.

Then it all came crashing down when he joined the Bucks the following season.

Caffey’s downfall in the NBA had nothing to do with his performance on the court but rather external issues. Caffey said it was a by-product of growing up in a family in which he felt alone and never learned how to properly process his emotions.

Caffey grew up in Mobile, Alabama. He was the youngest of six children, though one of his older sisters died before he was born.

Caffey said he was verbally abused when he was a child. His siblings were never around, and his parents were constantly fighting.

“It was rough,” Caffey recalled. “My mom and my dad weren’t on good terms. So there was always conflict in the house, and being a young kid, it was hard on a child.”

Basketball is respected in Mobile, Caffey said. Because he was 6-8 and good at the sport, he rarely felt threatened.

“Mobile isn’t a large town, but it can be a rough town. I grew up on the inner-city part of things with drug dealing, pimping, murderers,” Caffey said. “I used to play basketball with the guys who were committing murders and selling drugs.”

Caffey said his perception of sexuality and what love meant was developed from what he learned on the streets. When he was in the NBA, Caffey longed to replace the love he felt he didn’t have growing up. He thought love was measured by number of children.

Caffey has 10 children with eight women.

“That’s what I equated love with, and that was definitely the wrong thing to do,” Caffey said. “I was sort of narcissist with that. And I felt like I could control my own destiny, and I couldn’t.”

Caffey, who also dealt with severe anxiety and depression during his playing days, became known as the “crazy” teammate. During a practice in 2001, Caffey suffered a panic attack during a Bucks practice. As a result, he missed the team flight to the next game. Then in 2003, Caffey, along with two other Bucks teammates, were charged with assault for an altercation outside a Toronto bar, Reuters reported at the time.

Caffey needed out, and the Bucks didn’t have any use for him. They bought out the two remaining years of his contract before the 2003-04 season.

“It’s a fast-paced life and there’s money, and with me being unstable — with the mental illnesses like depression, the anxiety attacks, the things I was dealing with and the ways I was coping with it — I was either going to end up with HIV or I was going to end up dead,” Caffey said.

Caffey lived the next decade in denial. It was only recently that he checked into a 45-day rehab facility where he participated in clinicals and spoke with counselors, who helped him understand why he felt depressed.

“Had I learned these things earlier, I feel like I would be a different person,” Caffey said.

Now, Caffey, 46, is teaming up with Doc N Jock LLC to help young men avoid making his mistakes. He hopes by sharing his story, others realize that being self-aware isn’t a sign of weakness.

“What I hope to accomplish is to get the word out to these kids because like I said, nobody talked in my house coming up, and we have to get past that,” Caffey said. “Real men talk, and that’s our slogan. And they do. They don’t stay bottled up and keep these things hidden inside of them until they turn 26, 27 and have a major panic attack or anxiety attack — that’s not the way to handle it.

Courtesy of Jason Caffey

“I was taught men keep quiet, men don’t cry, they don’t do any of these things. I’m not telling any old kid to go out there and cry, but actually crying is a way to heal yourself. You heal when you cry, you let out a lot of tension and that bottled-up anxiety. And if you hold it long enough — that’s what happened to me. It just exploded at one time, and I didn’t know how to handle it, and I started making really bad decisions that were going to affect me for the rest of my life.”

Though it took Caffey years to get his life on track, he has accepted that everything happens for a reason.

Caffey said he still tries to be involved in his children’s lives as much as possible. He recently watched some of his children graduate high school and receive college scholarships. He felt proud of their accomplishments, and it served as another reminder to never give up.

“That’s why I thank Michael, I thank Phil, I thank Dennis, Steve Kerr,” Caffey said. “Coming in under Michael and Scottie, I’m not saying I took the good from those guys and went out and did good, but the things that I did take from them — that ‘never quit’ attitude — has helped me sustain my life.”

Courtesy of Jason Caffey