Give to Trump after his hole-in-one claim? You’d have to have a hole in your head

The ex-president’s latest attempt to extract money from small donors centers on his supposed luck on the links.

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President Donald Trump plays golf at Trump National Golf Club in Sterling, Va., Sunday, Dec. 13, 2020.

President Donald Trump plays golf at Trump National Golf Club in Sterling, Va., Sunday, Dec. 13, 2020.

AP

Like tinnitus in your ear, the Trump trumpet sounds again.

Fellow Americans.

Take a deep breath.

Exhale.

Then prepare to be mired in Donald Trump’s MAGA mail again!

Stay with me.

Trump, an avid linksman, sent this “personal” piece of “patriot” campaign pitch to Sneed’s email this week from his Save America PAC, which had $110 million as of February.

It was teed up on a golf course.

“Many people are asking, and yes, it’s true,“ he texted.

What’s true?

“While playing a round of golf with some of the greatest golfers in our country, I MADE A HOLE-IN-ONE,” chirps Trump.

He insisted on a lesson in golf geography.

“It was on the 7th hole, playing 181-yards into a slight wind,” texted Trump.

“I hit a 5-iron, which sailed magnificently into a relatively strong wind with approximately five feet of cut, after which it bounced twice and then went clank, into the hole.

Clank?

“This could not come at a better time, ‘michael Sneed’,” he proclaimed while continuing to ask me how to spell my name so I can become a donor MVP ... even though I am referred to as a “patriot” and dear friend.

Ka-ching! Then Trump hit the cash button.

“Contribute $75 or more TODAY to claim your Trump Golf Photo signed by your favorite president,” he stated.

My favorite president?

“I just released one of my favorite photos of me golfing, and I want YOU to have it,” he cajoles.

Huh? No date … no proof listed … and the PAC pix described as a “favorite” Trump pose featured an unspecified location on the links.

“You won’t get another chance,” he states.

Why bother?

Hall of Famer Ernie Els, 52, may have told a Palm Beach post reporter the “hole-in-one” happened while he was golfing with Trump in Florida recently, but a report in the Washington Post on another recent Trump pitch sheds doubt on his PAC promises.

The report claims small-dollar Trump donors were enticed to give money based on the possibility of winning a chance to dine with Trump personally in New Orleans. But in reality, the “winner” of the contest never dined or even met with the ex-president … although he and his wife did attend a rally there for Trump.

Trump may have netted a hole-in-one.

But it’s not hard to figure out who has a hole in the head.

The name game ...

What’s in a name? A first name.

Here’s what: Names were meant to define us; give us significance; even attach us to Biblical power.

Harold (Washington).Richard (Daley). Rahm (Emanuel).

Formal first names were meant to reflect authority.

Enter the new familiarity: Bernie (Sanders). Joe (Biden). Beto (O’Rourke). Pete “Mayor Pete” (Buttigieg).

As a political pundit might say: Is chummy the new yummy?

Is the nature of a first name the new political thing?

Thus far, the three candidates who have officially declared their intention to run for Chicago mayor, have friendly — rather than formal — first names.

Lori (Lightfoot).

Willie (WIlson).

Ray (Lopez).

Even Arne “Arnie” (Duncan) came this/close to entering the mayoral fray … but opted not to run.

And if Cook County Board President “Toni” Preckwinkle changes her mind and opts into the mayoral fray … well ...

So let’s be clear:

Lori is a short form of Laura or the Latin Laurus, meaning laurel ... a symbol of honor and victory … the dark green glossy leaf crowns of ancient statesmen.

Willie is a derivative of William … meaning resolute protector or strong willed “warrior” … the strength of a “helmet.”

Ray is a derivative of Raymond ... meaning “‘a wise protector.”

The power of a crown? The strength of a helmet? Or a wise protector?

Stay tuned.

Real versus reel?

Mayoral opponent Willie Wilson criticized Mayor Lightfoot for having negative communicating skills, stating: “If it doesn’t go her way, she takes it personally. If something doesn’t go my way, it’s not a big deal.”

Then he blasted Lightfoot’s decision to mandate anti-COVID masks at religious services.

So Wilson really didn’t consider it a big deal?

Just asking.

Sneedlings …

I spy: Actress/”Saturday Night Live” alum Molly Shannon spotted at Rosebud eatery on Randolph Wednesday night … Condolences to real estate developer Iris McCaffery on the death of her beloved mother, Annie Cherniawski, 96, who died of COVID in Canada recently. No mother had a better daughter … Kudos to the former Dem U.S. Sen. Claire McCaskell for using a non-library background when appearing as an MSNBC political contributor … and including a half-eaten chocolate cake in her kitchen backdrop! ... Saturday birthdays: actress Anya Taylor-Joy, 26; NFL coach Bill Belichick, 70, and basketball legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, 75. Sunday birthdays: Rooney Mara, 37; Victoria Beckham, 48, and Sean Bean, 63.

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