When ’emotional support animals’ offer all the comfort of chicken nuggets

The Christmas season is that special time of year when we travel far and wide to visit far-flung family and friends.

’Tis the season to be jolly. But first we have to get there.

Santa can ride his comfy sleigh above the clouds. The rest of us get there on jumbo jets, enduring cramped seats, inedible food, endless fees, unexplained delays. Knees in my chin; elbows banged by aisle carts; passengers on cell phones, cranky babies. Air travel is a necessary nightmare.

Then there’s the growing epidemic of flyers who haul along so-called comfort pets, officially known as “service animals” or “emotional support animals.”

I like animals, but these days it seems I have to share every flight with the animal kingdom.

Awhile back, I sat across the aisle from a woman whose lap dog was stuffed in a carrier, and crammed under her seat. The pup whined through the entire, three-hour American Airlines flight.

Don’t blame the dog. Too many people with pets are scamming us.

The number of emotional-support animals that boarded commercial flights skyrocketed between 2016 and 2017, from 481,000 to 751,000, reports Airlines for America, an airline trade group.

Some tote their creatures along to salve their physical and mental needs. Others are gaming the system to avoid the expense and inconvenience of shipping their pets.

“Although they’re meant for people with physical or mental health needs, a lot of these animals were certified through questionable if not outright fraudulent means,” writes Forbes travel blogger Andrew Bender. “Other reported emotional support animals on planes include ducks, pigs, kangaroos and more.”

Early this year, a woman tried to bring a peacock on a flight at Newark Liberty International Airport. Passengers have shown up with hamsters, squirrels, miniature horses and “defecating pigs,” according to news reports.

Even conventional canines can be problematic. “Airlines say that many of these untrained pets posing as support animals are a threat to passengers, crew, and even properly trained service dogs,” reports Business Insider.

The fallout is giving passengers with legitimate needs a bad name. The airlines are cracking down.

Meanwhile, there’s a delicious, fun alternative.

Popeyes, the chain that purveys Louisiana-style fried chicken, rolled out the “Emotional Support Chicken” just in time for the holidays.

For a limited time, air-bound passengers at the Philadelphia International Airport can pick up a three-piece chicken tenders combo, with its own special “Emotional Support Chicken carrier.”

“We appreciate how comforting emotional support animals are and wanted to create our own version,” Hope Diaz, chief marketing officer for the Louisiana-style chicken chain, told Forbes magazine. “The good news is that our emotional support chicken is permitted to fly without any restrictions.”

Cluck cluck. Now, there’s some tender, loving care to get us through the turbulence. Soothe your flying nerves by chowing down on spicy, crunchy chicken. Maybe Popeyes can throw in some red beans and rice, and a gizzard or two?

It’s a clever marketing ploy to bring some holiday cheer.

PETA, the animal rights group, tried to Scrooge it up, of course. It tweeted, “#Popeyes is selling boxes of dead ‘emotional support chickens’ for the holidays, proving they’re not above mocking mental illness AND animals who died gruesome deaths.”

Some people can’t take a joke. Here’s hoping you have a Merry Christmas, and go laughing all the way!

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