When fathers are MIA, it really does take a village

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4_gabriel_wallace_who_is_deaf_is_among_the_volunteer_readers_at_the_real_men_read_program_at_south_suburban_matteson_elementary_school.jpg

Gabriel Wallace, who is deaf, is among the volunteer readers at the Real Men Read program at south suburban Matteson Elementary School. | Photo by John W. Fountain

He was his only son. And of all the brutality and sordid facts that fell upon my ears that day like hot coals, it was that one fact that has forever singed my soul.

I was a reporter in the early 1990s. I sat in on a trial at the Cook County Criminal Courthouse, captivated and disturbed by the details. Apparently angry with the child’s mother, the father, according to prosecutors, filled a bucket with scalding water and placed his toddler son inside.

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These were the cold facts: He held him down while the child screamed and his skin melted, then laid him on a bed where he suffered in agony until he died. Facts.

I wasn’t there to hear the child’s screams. But they arose from the riveting portrait painted by prosecutors.

While covering murder and mayhem, I routinely encountered nightmarish true tales. But the details of this one made me sick. And as I stared at the father behind the defendant’s table, I felt only rage.

I have mixed feelings today as I see black boys drifting on a sea of paternal absence, neglect and abandonment that in my estimation amounts to de facto murder — some of it involuntary manslaughter — at the hands of the man who is supposed to love them first, to uplift and save.

While the father’s scalding case is extreme, varying degrees of paternal neglect, abuse, and failure today are evidenced by a mountain of grim statistics. Clearly, there are also many good and present fathers.

And yet, given the long and well-documented evidence of fathers who are MIA — for all sorts of reasons — I remain a proponent of the African adage: It takes a village.

That sentiment remains at the heart of Real Men Read at south suburban Matteson Elementary School, where, four years ago, I invited men to join me on Thursday mornings. We are into our fourth year.

Principal Gregory Hueslman, third from left, stands among the volunteers of the Real Men Read program at south suburban Matteson Elementary School. | Photo provided by John W. Fountain

Principal Gregory Hueslman, third from left, stands among the volunteers of the Real Men Read program at south suburban Matteson Elementary School. | Photo provided by John W. Fountain

Most of the men who have come have no biological children or grandchildren attending the school. And yet, we are fathers. Fathers of the community. Fathers who understand that by our presence, by our persistence and by our promises kept we have the power to help create a brighter future for our children. We are not a cure-all but potential agents of change.

Richard Siska, 84, a retiree who is among our faithful readers, told me he does it, “first of all, because I can. But most of all because it touched me. Because I had a father figure and a man in my life. And I had brothers, and uncles. I had neighbors.”

“Somebody’s gotta do it,” Siska said, cheerily.

Since last fall, Matteson readers have been joined by a group of boys who are juniors at Southland College Prep Charter High School in Richton Park — my son Malik among them.

The dearth of black male teachers in elementary education in general makes their presence at Matteson a huge plus, he told me. “Just seeing someone older than you who is black and male role models… Us being there, our presence, helps them have that image in their mind.”

At 16, he already gets it.

Indeed we all get it: That amid any lack of good and loving fathers, or their complete absence, we can’t afford to sit around casting blame or doing nothing. That inasmuch as we may be captains of our own destiny, we can also help shape the destiny of others by our own hands.

We get it: These are our sons — and daughters.

It is a fact seared into my soul, like the image of that little boy fatally scalded by his father.

Email: Author@johnwfountain.com

Send letters to: letters@suntimes.com.

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