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Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Girl has lice, and dad doesn’t bother treating it

DEAR ABBY: I take care of two girls. I have never asked for money from their dad. Because they are poor, I go to great lengths to make sure they get the same advantages as everyone else.

I took the girls to the hair salon because I wanted them to feel pretty. When it was the youngest girl’s turn, the stylist found lice in her hair! She was at what they call an “infestation period.” After that it’s an infection and then baldness.

I went to their father and asked about the lice. He knew the entire time that she had lice and did not warn me or my family. Abby, he knowingly put my loved ones at risk!

He isn’t a good parent and doesn’t make the youngest shower or take lice treatments. I know he doesn’t care about the lice, so he’s probably making her go to school despite the lice policy. What should I do? — INFESTED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR INFESTED: Among the “joys” of parenting is ensuring that one’s children practice proper hygiene and their medical problems are treated. Father of the year this man isn’t.

Of course he should have warned you so you could caution your children. He also should be watching his children more closely to be sure they shower regularly. Keep an eye on him, because he may be neglecting his girls in other ways. Could he be unaware that a head lice infestation can be treated? Because you are concerned about the girls’ welfare, perhaps the school should be alerted.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, as many as 12 million lice infestations occur in the United States each year, and they are NOT caused by poor hygiene. While they may be inconvenient and cause severe itching, the condition is treatable, and they do not generally cause baldness.

According to kidshealth.org, head lice are “spread mainly through head-to-head contact, but sharing clothing, bed linens, combs, brushes and hats also can pass them along. Kids are most prone to catching lice because they tend to have close physical contact with each other and share personal items.”

DEAR ABBY: I’m the product of my father’s infidelity. My mother, who was 19, abandoned me. My grandmother took me in and raised me. I grew up very poor, but I made it. I got my college education plus a master’s degree.

Actually, I think my biological mother did me a favor by leaving me because she’s not a good person. She is now very ill, with only months to live. One of my half-sisters contacted me last night to let me know.

I don’t hate her. I just do not feel anything for her. I’m 50 now, and she has never been a part of my life. I’m not sure if I should go and see her before she dies. — UNSURE OF IT

DEAR UNSURE OF IT: Your half-sister may have contacted you to give you closure before your mother dies, or because your mother asked her to. If you have ANY questions you would like answered, you should go.

Having never met your mother, I can’t judge whether she’s “not a good person” or simply someone who made terrible decisions and got on the wrong path when she was still a teenager. And I’m not sure you should judge her either, until after you have had a conversation with her.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in “What Every Teen Should Know.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)