DEAR ABBY: In less than a month, I am being married to my same-sex partner of 4 1/2 years.
My brother and I spend time together at least once a month — if not more — and he has always given me time with my nephews. Our conversations tend to be centered around lighthearted subjects and the occasional funny joke on our parents.
Unfortunately, having heart-to-hearts has not worked well for us. He’s five years older and very religious. I have been out to my brother since I was 19, and the conversation didn’t go well.
He is refusing to come to my wedding, and I see this as the beginning of my having to choose my partner over him and my nephews. Of course, I will want to spend Christmas with my wife — which will mean that instead of being a family together, I will no longer have Christmas with my nephews.
Any advice for a way to approach him, or to be at peace with the future of my family? — SAD SISTER
DEAR SAD SISTER: It’s time to have another heart-to-heart talk with your brother.
He has known about your sexual orientation, and yet you are still a part of his sons’ lives. Does he plan for that to change after your wedding? He may not, but if you ask that question, at least you will know where you and your fiancee stand.
Because he doesn’t plan to attend the wedding doesn’t necessarily mean that you will be excluded from the family. However, if it does, I am sure you, like many other people, will find others who are willing to give you the emotional support you need. The loss should rightly be your brother’s, not your own.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been thinking about dating a good friend I have known for five years. We’re highly compatible, have similar likes and dislikes, can easily work out any dispute we might have, and I seem to be the only one in our group who can tolerate his antics (all of which are harmless). We spend countless hours together and yet still wish for more time.
It’s been like this since the beginning. We’ve known we’d make a cute couple since 2014. The problem is, we are oblivious to any advances the other might make (if he’s even made any), so subtlety is out the window.
I’m not even sure if I want to drop the ball on this or not. He’s a fantastic guy. I could see myself with him, but I don’t want to mess up our friendship. Neither of us has been in a romantic relationship before or had our first kiss, and we’re both 19.
What would be my first move or what should I say? Or should I just wait it out and see what happens? — WHO MAKES THE FIRST MOVE?
DEAR WHO: This is the 21st century. Many women make the first move. The next time you spend time alone with him, ask him if it would be all right if you gave him a kiss. Don’t jump him — just give him a sweet, innocent kiss, and then see what happens.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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