Dear Abby: Mother worried about teen daughter whose friend committed suicide
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ear Abby: My 15-year-old daughter’s best friend took her life today. My daughter is devastated.
As a parent, I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid to go to bed this evening because I want her to fall asleep before me. It hurts not being able to take that pain from your child. I want to hold her in my arms tonight. She needs her space, but I don’t know how to help her.
I don’t know how it feels to be so young and lose a best friend by her own hand. What can I do?
— How Do I Take the Pain Away?
Dear How: The smartest thing you and the parents of other friends of the deceased girl can do is to see that your children have access to grief counseling by a professional. When a tragedy like this happens, many schools offer it to the students, but if this isn’t being offered at the school your daughter and her friend attended, then the parents should step in.
Dear Abby: I am 22 and will graduate from college soon. I have worked hard for the last four years and will graduate with two degrees.
Recently, I decided to throw away all my makeup. I rarely wore it, and I think I am beautiful without it. Now that I’m about to enter the job market, I’m worried society won’t see me as looking professional without it. I have appropriate dress clothes and I’m comfortable without the added “fluff” of makeup, but how will others see me? Is makeup a necessary part of the business attire?
I want to go into job interviews with as much confidence as possible and do well in my career. Also, if I wear makeup to an interview, will it be necessary for me to wear it on a daily basis once I get a job? Please enlighten me.
— Bare and Beautiful
Dear Bare: Employers expect applicants to put their best foot forward during a job interview. But unless wearing makeup is part of the job description, I don’t think it’s a requirement.
How others will view you depends upon how well you perform the job for which you’re hired. If you do it well, you will be respected. If you don’t, no amount of makeup will put you in a better light. Being well-groomed does not necessarily mean wearing makeup.
Dear Abby: What do you think of taking young children into a prison to visit an uncle? The kids are 3, 4 and 6 and endure a 12-hour car ride each way. I stay out of it and haven’t said a word to the parents, but I don’t think this is the smartest idea.
— Caring Bystander
Dear Bystander: You don’t say how often these visits happen, but if it’s often, it seems to me that a 12-hour drive (each way) would be very hard on small children. If you are a friend or relative and live nearby, I’m sure it would be appreciated if you volunteered to watch the kids while the parents make the drive. Have you considered it?
Good advice for everyone — teens to seniors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It.” To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.