Oscars 2023: Jimmy Kimmel zings Tom Cruise, ‘Babylon’ in monologue with just a little edge

“There are some things that movies can do that TV just can’t. For example, a TV show can’t lose $100 million. Is the gang from ‘Babylon’ here? They know.” – From Jimmy Kimmel’s opening monologue at the 95^th Academy Awards.

Better safe than sorry.

The 95th Academy Awards kicked off with Brad Pitt in “Babylon” saying, “Time to go make a movie!,” which was followed by a montage of behind-the-scenes footage and brief clips from dozens of 2023 releases reminding us of the magic of movies.

Then it was time for third-time host Jimmy Kimmel to make his entrance — first via a little special effects trickery that put him in Tom Cruise’s jet fighter plane in “Top Gun: Maverick” (a bit Billy Crystal pulled off multiple times back in the day), and then “parachuting” from the rafters and cracking, “Give me a second to adjust my Danger Zone here.” In a solid albeit straightforward monologue, Kimmel took his time and interacted with the celebs in attendance, while also taking a few mild shots at Cruise and at “Avatar: The Way of Water” director James Cameron for NOT attending.

Kimmel did a solid job, consistently scoring laughs — he’s as comfortable as one can be in this relatively thankless roles — but there wasn’t a whole lot of edginess beyond some mild jabs at the self-involved grandiosity of this business of show, e.g., when Kimmel noted, “I also want to say that I’m happy to see that Nicole Kidman has finally been released from that abandoned AMC where she has been held captive for almost two full years now … And thank you for encouraging people who were already at the movie theater to go to the movie theater.”

Kimmel scored some laughs and few groans when he talked about the difference between television and movies: “There are some things that movies can do that TV just can’t. For example, a TV show can’t lose $100 million. Is the gang from ‘Babylon’ here? They know.”

There was a Pauly Shore joke, a line about Steven Spielberg and Seth Rogen being “The Joe and Hunter Biden of Hollywood,” a corny one-liner about composer John Williams being 91 and “still scoring,” and the inevitable reference to last year’s slapping incident, as when Kimmel noted, “Five Irish actors are nominated tonight. Which means the odds of another fight onstage just went way up.”

And, in a bit that wasn’t far off from my prediction that Kimmel would reference some of the attendees and say they’d intervene if there was any trouble, he name-checked Michael B. Jordan, Pedro Pascal and Michelle Yeoh, among others, and said they were ready to pounce if necessary.

More 30 minutes into the broadcast, only one trophy had been handed out: to Guillermo del Toro’s “Pinocchio,” for animated feature.

Looks like it’s going to be a long night.