The liberal media elite would like you to believe that Sunday’s trouncing of the Detroit Lions was the byproduct of a so-so Bears team beating up on a squad that more closely resembled a Division I-AA intramural club.
They want to downplay the Bears’ victory … a practice akin to saying the universe is “pretty big, ain’t it?”
The folks up the river (we’re looking at you, John Mullin) would have you believe, “The Lions’ trademark poor execution was accompanied by any number of dubious decisions.” So typical of the liberal media elite blaming the losing team for losing, rather than giving the greatest team of all time on Earth the credit it so richly deserves.
Are you kidding me? There should be a ticker tape parade down LaSalle today — the only proper way to celebrate yesterday’s feat.
Mullin continues, “Detroit quarterbacks and receivers were not in the same book, let alone on the same page.” Well did you ever consider, Mr. Liberal Media Elite, that perhaps it wasn’t an issue of Lions players not being in the same book as much as it was a matter of the Bears rendering them illiterate?
And I suppose you want to attribute Kyle Orton’s mercifully amazing performance to the Lions’ lackluster secondary. But you fail to point out that the Bears’ QB and Pro Bowl shoo-in appeared on “Big 10 Friday Night Tailgate” this past Friday, bearing his soul to sports journo extraordinaire and friend of Sports Pros(e), Jordan Klepper. You failed to mention that, media. And if you think that Orton/Klepper one-on-one didn’t have more to do with The Bearded One’s performance than Detroit’s allegedly porous secondary, then I ask you to kindly turn in your press pass, sir or madam.
In case you, the general public, haven’t noticed, the Bears sit atop the NFC North five games into this young season. Well, I have news for all of you. They haven’t even begun to try. They’ve managed to lull nearly everyone in the NFL into that proverbial false sense of security.
Well, it’s pounce time, suckers. And all you doubters and haters out there will surely bare witness to a furious, unprecedented bear attack . Un. Prece. Dented.
Even Mitch Albom (Mitch Albom!) of the Detroit Free Press — the Lions’ own PR bullhorn — had this to say in (apparently in an effort to take away from what was perhaps one of the greatest performances ever by the absolute greatest football team ever):
Kyle Orton? A career day? Then again, against our sad sacks, isn’t that the norm? The Lions gave Atlanta rookie Matt Ryan a touchdown on his first NFL pass, gave Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay’s eternal backup, a career afternoon, and gave their own castoff, J.T. O’Sullivan, his best day ever in San Francisco. Why not Orton?
Oh sure, Detroit. It’s all about you, isn’t it? It was your “sad sacks” who were the problem. Have you ever considered that in a Bears-less universe it could be you that was destined for the Super Bowl. You whose fate is sealed in February. In a Bears-less universe, everyone would have a chance. But this is the Bears’ world. The Bears’ league. And all others are foragers in a barren land. A land ravaged by massive Bears with crazed eyes and thick blood dripping from their massive jowls.
Finally, as Mullen and Albom only half-report, Roy Williams summed up the Lions’ performance with one word: “Lost.” But if this is indeed “Lost,” it’s clear that no one is willing to give the Bears credit for moving the island.