Black Friday: Rise, shine and be merry

By now America has shook off its collective turkey-induced food coma and headed out in droves for another holiday tradition.

That’s right sports fans, it’s Black Friday.

Stores are packed to the gills with thrifty shoppers dying to get the best deal on the presents they intend to give to their family, friends or that weird guy in accounting whose name they drew in their office Secret Santa programs.

Evidently, up to 128 million shoppers are expected to hit retail stores this weekend.

That’s more people than voted in the election earlier this month.

Now, I feel like I speak for many men when I admit that I just don’t get the hype. The prospect of throwing sharp elbows at an ungodly hour of the morning to save 10 percent on a tie for my uncle just doesn’t appeal to me. The whole thing seems … silly.

But then again, how many things do I — and so many other sports-thirsty American males — do in the name of fandom that these shoppers find bewildering?

Growing up, Thanksgiving Day was spent in front of the television watching the hapless Detroit Lions keep it close for 2 1/2 quarters and then fade miserably. It was really the only time of the year the whole extended family got together around a sporting event.

Pretty good stuff.

The day after Thanksgiving saw all the aunts waking up while it was still dark and hitting the stores. My father, brother and myself would all scratch our heads and ponder aloud just how ridiculous these trips were.

“Who in their right mind would do this,” we wondered.

Then a revelation struck.

Black Friday shopping is no more ridiculous than painting your face, knowing how many home runs Brady Anderson hit in 1995 or watching six hours of Super Bowl pregame.

It’s just … different.

Not my cup of team, maybe not yours.

But if I watch Rece Davis don a judge’s robe and moderate a debate between Lou Holtz and Mark May then maybe I shouldn’t be throwing the first stone in the “what’s worthwhile” war.

So rise and shine, America. Shop on. I’ll hold my snide comments.

The economy needs stimulation anyway.