What will Diablo do now?

As my esteemed colleague Bill Zwecker reports today, the much-lauded, Oscar-certified Brook Busey-Hunt of west suburban Lemont — better known as former stripper/hipster poseur/seamy underbelly tourista turned “Juno” screenwriter Diablo Cody — has plenty of projects on her plate to capitalize on her 15 minutes of fame, including an autobiographical screenplay about her days at Lisle’s tony Catholic prep school, Benet Academy. Nearly as funny, however, is the spoof “leaked Diablo Cody screenplay” posted by the humor Web site Something Awful, first brought to my attention by reader Chad Mummert.

The heroine, named “Quotey,” is — surprise, surprise — the sort of riotous grrrl who’s “different and doesn’t care who knows it.” Picking up her Sports Illustrated football phone to chat with her dad — “What’s the haps, super-paps? It’s your dime; spill it!” — she waters her Christopher Walken chia pet while listening to Spoon, Broken Social Scene, Animal Collective and the Unicorns… though a helpful note in the margin of the screenplay emphasizes that that “could change if these bands become popular.”

Great stuff — and alas, all too true.

And, while we’re doing a bit more “Juno” web-surfing, Ken Ota of the Chicago-based newspaper Revolution brought this article to my attention. Despite the publication’s leftist agenda, the piece pretty objectively charts each barely hidden signifier combining to form what I’ve called the film’s anti-feminist/anti-woman agenda. Oh, and it notes something I missed, an amazingly obvious “doh!”: Juno is, of course, the Roman goddess of fertility, childbirth and marriage. How’s that for championing family values?

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