What was that?

TORONTO I would like to fully describe to you the latest slump-busting attempt by the White Sox players, but Im still not quite sure what I saw.

It was like some bizarre shrine from Apocalypse Now, minus Brando of course. Now, earmuff-time kids. There were two blow-up dolls with at least 30 bats fanned out all around them in some sort of homage. Of course a few of the bats were doing naughty things, but you get the picture.

Whoever did it tried to frame Toby Hall by placing his hat on one of the dolls, but both Hall and several witnesses exonerated the reserve catcher.

As for manager Ozzie Guillen, he got a big kick out of it.

Well, whoever did it spent a lot of money, Guillen said. Thats the type of guys we have. The clubhouse has been quiet the last couple days and I dont like to see that. We have to stay at the same level of enthusiasm, no matter what happens. Because you worry about the game during the game. before and after, you cant do anything about it. I know its not easy to enjoy yourself when youre losing, but I expect the guys to stay with the same attitude no matter the results of the game.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.