Cure to what ails Kanye West? Theraflu

SHARE Cure to what ails Kanye West? Theraflu
Obit_Mike_Wallace.JPEG_0fa4_1.jpg

FILE - This May 8, 2006 file photo shows Mike Wallace, longtime CBS “60 Minutes” correspondent, during an interview at his office in New York. Wallace, famed for his tough interviews on “60 Minutes,” has died, Saturday, April 7, 2012. He was 93. (AP Photo/Bebeto Matthews)

I’m not so sure Kanye West believes he’s funny, but I think the guy’s hilarious.

Whether he’s grabbing a trophy from Taylor Swift or ranting about how he should have won a video award because “I was jumping across canyons and s—,” whining on Twitter about Matt Lauer picking on him or launching into “Gold Digger” on a Delta flight, Kanye can be always be counted on to bring the crazy.

He always seems so angry. Why is he mad? He’s Kanye West! That’s a pretty good deal. A Forbes-estimated net worth of $70 million, all the sweater vests and sunglasses in the world, an enormously prolific career…

And yet Kanye always seems mad or insulted – and then he fights back with a song or a Tweet or a post, often arousing the ire of his targets. That’s the deal with his most recent song, which is named after a popular cold-and-flu medicine.

I’m not kidding.

What next, an ode to Alka-Seltzer?

Note to the makers of Theraflu: even as you’re publicly distancing yourselves from Kanye, you might want to think about hitting up 1-800-Flowers and sending him a ginormous bouquet of thanks.

It’s not that you can’t buy this kind of publicity. It would just cost you a lot.

Kanye has released a single titled, “Theraflu,” and unless I missed a Bon Iver B-side called “Vicks DayQuil,” I’m thinking this might be the first pop song named after an over-the-counter cold-and-flu remedy.

Novartis, the makers of Theraflu, told E! News, “[We] are aware of a song recently released by rapper Kanye West, which contain references to Theraflu in its title, lyrics and artwork. Novartis … Health in no way endorses or approves of the references and likeness of Theraflu in this manner.”

OK, but on some level you guys have to be digging it.

Like much of Kanye’s work, “Theraflu” is all about how splendiferously amazing Kanye is, and how you’ll never be even half as splendiferously amazing, so don’t even try. West boasts about having “dinner with Anna Wintour” and spending $6,000 on a pair of shoes (somewhere Elton John is seething with envy), and he raps that whether you’re talking about “clothes” or “hoes,” he’ll bleeping embarrass you and you’ll be so cold you’ll need some Theraflu.

That’s pretty funny.

“Theraflu” also contains the now-famous lyrical reference to Kim Kardashian:

And I’ll admit I fell in love with Kim, ‘Round the same time she had fell in love with him

Well that’s cool, baby girl do your thing, lucky I ain’t have Jay drop him from the team

Right. Because that’s how it works. You call New Jersey Nets co-owner Jay-Z and tell him to cut Kris Humphries because you’ve got a thing for Humphries’ soon-to-be-ex-wife.

Hilarious. This is like fourth grade with lots more money.

A master storyteller

The legendary Mike Wallace, who died Saturday at the age of 93, was best known for all those hard-hitting exposes during a nearly four decade run on “60 Minutes.” Wallace was a master storyteller.

But long before his hard news days, Wallace was following a career path that sounds like what Ryan Seacrest might have been doing had Seacrest been born in 1918. Wallace was a wrestling announcer in Chicago, a staff announcer for radio shows such as “The Green Hornet,” an actor in a TV police drama, a game show host – and a pitchman for products such as Fluffo brand shortening and Parliament cigarettes.

How long was Wallace’s career? Think of it this way: when “60 Minutes” debuted in 1968, Wallace was 50 years old.

F. Scott Fitzgerald famously said there are no second acts in American life. Fact of it is, just about everyone gets a second act. Even acknowledging his occasional and very public missteps, what Mike Wallace did after he turned 50 will forever rank him as a first-ballot Hall of Fame journalist.

The Latest
A six-month pilot program aims to speed up misconduct investigations and rebuild public trust in police, Mayor Lori Lightfoot’s office announced Wednesday.
Lurid new installment of the documentary series, ‘The Jeffrey Dahmer Tapes,’ plays recordings of the killer describing his depraved acts but making no attempt to explain them.
For 22 years, she did her part to make the holiday meal work out for others. One time, she recognized the voice of the caller. It was her grandson who was away at college.
Cook County Board President Preckwinkle is offering bold spending plans, armed with roughly $1 billion in federal COVID-19 relief money. But she needs workers to pull these plans off, and faces more than 4,000 vacancies. “We’re in the midst of a staffing crisis in health care,” she warned.
We’re dropping our paywall and making it free to read the news — but we’re still counting on your support.