Kirstie Alley, Emmitt Smith round-out first night of ‘Dancing All-Stars’

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Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy tried their best to rekindle their oh-so-marvelous ballroom chemistry on tonight’s “All-Stars” premiere, but there was little of it to be had (though the duo, who were first paired in season 12, started a bit slow out of the gate back then as well).

Their fox trot was not that good, alas, and their score of 19 reflected it.

Emmitt Smith and Cheryl Burke were at the opposite end of the spectrum with their razzle-dazzler of a cha-cha-cha, or as Len Goodman called it, “the last and the BEST dance of the night.”

Carrie Ann summed it up in one word “yabba-dabba-do!”

‘Nuff said. And their score of 24.5 put them at the top of the leader board!

So who goes home Tuesday night?

Look for Pamela Anderson witht the night’s low score of 17) to bid the ballroom adieu.

Tuesday night’s entertainment? That would be Justin Bieber… a big, huge ratings booster (as if this ridiculously popular show needs one?) AND…. Pitbull! Call it one wild and crazy night in the ballroom.

Here’s how the evening played out:

Season 15 of “Dancing with the Stars” otherwise known as the “All-Stars” edition, has one big change in store for its roster of competitors: the scoring system has been revised to include “half points.” In other words, the judges, our old pals Bruno Tonioli, Len Goodman and the recently un-engaged Carrie Ann Inaba can now upgrade or downgrade their scores in half-step increments.

So that calls for a whole new set of score paddles, too! Yawn

One big change over last season: there are no super-high scores to be had on this first night of competition. (Many a fan complained that high scores flowed like the mighty Mississippi last season, leaving some in the pack nowhere to go but down).

So after the first four couples on the “All-Star” season of “Dancing with the Stars” and a few things come to mind:

1) Everyone looks a whole lot older

2) Melissa Rycroft’s tan looks way too orange

3) Pamela Anderson is probably going home Tuesday night

4) Tristan MacManus’ new ‘do is mighty fine

5) Len Goodman, so far tonight, leads the Quips leaderboard with this nifty notable:

“I’m a cup of tea in a sea of lattes.”

Thanks Len!

Joey Fatone kicked things off with a sparkly, spangly cha-cha-cha with his old partner Kym Johnson. Though he earned only a 23.5 (love those half-points), it was a fiery start to the much touted all-star season.

Shawn Johnson was next out of the gate with a fox trot that failed to wow the judges, earning a mere 22 points out of 30.

“Viewers’ Choice” contestant Sabrina Bryan started off on the right foot with a super-charged cha-cha-cha with partner Louis Van Amstel, but the excitement (probably over those newly instituted half points) pushed her to “overdance” the routine, which led to more than a few slip-ups and a score of 22.5.

Season 5 mirror ball champ, Indy car racer Elio Castroneves and his “they gave me another blond” partner Chelsie Hightower didn’t do much for their fox trot either, lacking much punch and style. Their score: 21.5

And then there was Pamela Anderson, who with the young Tristan MacManus (who called Anderson “every guy’s dream”), attempted a cha-cha-cha, that well, just went nowhere. Anderson maintained her composure as the judges stumbled over ways to not hurt her feelings with too much criticism. To summarize, they felt she lacked technique, precision and was a bit shaky. Her score of 17 reflected their sentiments. (Early favorite for departing Tuesday night).

Melissa Rycroft followed with her willowy fox trot with her partner (they were also paired in season 8 when they made it to the finals) Tony Dovolani, earned high praises from the judges across the board. Tony even called her the best partner he ever had. The new mom earned a 21 for her first-night efforts.

Season eight “almost champ” (he lost by just a half a per cent to Shawn Johnson) Gilles Marini brought a sense of elegance to the ballroom with his gorgeous fox trot with partner Peta Murgatroyd.

All I can say is ditto to the judges’ comments:

Len Goodman: “sophistication,” “terrific”

Bruno Tonioli: “style, panache and finesse” and “technically so good”

Carrie Ann Inaba: “I missed you!”

(double ditto on Carrie Ann!)

The debonair Marini, with his white dinner jacket, was impossibly suave as he navigated the dance floor. Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire rolled into one sexy ballroom dancer.

The bar has been set for tonight’s competition.

How do you follow Gilles Marini’s sizzling turn on the dance floor?

If you’re Bristol Palin, you have to be asking yourself that very question.

Of course, with encouraging words such as “Shake that a–“) from her partner Mark Ballas (during their rehearsal video footage)…. how could she NOT be ready for her big return to the ballroom (as proud mama Sarah Palin looked on from the sidelines) with the ever booty-shaking cha-cha -cha.

Carrie Ann called her “most improved,” while Bruno called her “refrehsed, revived and refurbished” … Len liked her legs, not her arms.

Her score: 19.5 out of 30.

But as Mark pointed out about his partner: “She’s beautiful and having a good time.”

Apolo Anton Ohno was back in fine form in the All-Stars “Dancing with the Stars” ballroom. The season four champ (with Julianne Hough) is partnered this season with Karina Smirnoff, and the duo will be one of the couples to be reckoned with down the road.

Ohno’s cha-cha-cha looked better on TV than in the ballroom for Len Goodman who called the Olympic gold medalist’s dance a “bronze medal performance.” OUCH!

Of course, Carrie Ann was beside herself with giddiness, proclaiming that Ohno was “3,000 times more sexy” than his previous stint on the show five years ago.

His score: 22. Look for that to go way up in the weeks to come.

On the ladies’ side, “General Hospital” star Kelly Monaco, and the very FIRST “Dancing with the Stars” champion was a firecracker out there with a sizzling cha-cha-cha (a dance she never did on that very first, six-week long DWTS season!).

Bruno Tonioli called her “hotter than ever”…..

Consider Monaco in this for the long-haul unless her fan base is asleep at the wheel.

Monaco’s score: 21.5

Drew Lachey,(season 2 champ with Cheryl Burke) is now partnered with Anna Trebunskaya, and the duo managed a stylish fox trot that didn’t do much for the judges, landing a score of 21.

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