‘Dancing with the Stars All-Stars’ slow out of the gate

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So we’re through four couples on the “All-Star” season of “Dancing with the Stars” and a few things come to mind:

1) Everyone looks a whole lot older

2) Melissa Rycroft’s tan looks way too orange

3) Pamela Anderson is probably going home Tuesday night

4) Tristan MacManus’ new ‘do is mighty fine

5) Len Goodman, so far tonight, leads the Quips leaderboard with this nifty notable:

“I’m a cup of tea in a sea of lattes.”

Thanks Len!

So far tonight, Joey Fatone kicked things off with a sparkly, spangly cha-cha-cha with his old partner Kym Johnson. Though he earned only a 23.5 (love those half-points), it was a fiery start to the much touted all-star season.

Shawn Johnson was next out of the gate with a fox trot that failed to wow the judges, earning a mere 22 points out of 30.

“Viewers’ Choice” contestant Sabrina Bryan started off on the right foot with a super-charged cha-cha-cha with partner Louis Van Amstel, but the excitement (probably over those newly instituted half points) pushed her to “overdance” the routine, which led to more than a few slip-ups and a score of 22.5.

Season 5 mirror ball champ, Indy car racer Elio Castroneves and his “they gave me another blond” partner Chelsie Hightower didn’t do much for their fox trot either, lacking much punch and style. Their score: 21.5

And then there was Pamela Anderson, who with the young Tristan MacManus (who called Anderson “every guy’s dream”), attempted a cha-cha-cha, that well, just went nowhere. Anderson maintained her composure as the judges stumbled over ways to not hurt her feelings with too much criticism. To summarize, they felt she lacked technique, precision and was a bit shaky. Her score of 17 reflected their sentiments. (Early favorite for departing Tuesday night).

Melissa Rycroft followed with her willowy fox trot with her partner (they were also paired in season 8 when they made it to the finals) Tony Dovolani, earned high praises from the judges across the board. Tony even called her the best partner he ever had. The new mom earned a 21 for her first-night efforts.

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