Chief Keef's gang, jobs numbers and the rest of the day's news

1 Uh oh

In news that’s not really new, Chicago’s finance are a hot mess. The Civic Federation released a report that says we weathered the recession in worse shape than all but two other cities surveyed. More alarming, the Civic Federation’s president said that unless we stanch the bleeding, we are currently “on the road to Detroit.” [Sun-Times]

2 Springfield mire

Illinois lawmakers wrapped up their fall sessions yesterday not with a bang but a three-month vacation. The House and Senate tabled a host of pressing matters, including the stuff that’s driving us toward Motown’s fate, but the most surprising inaction might have been the stalling of a bill to stiffen gun sentences that looked like it was headed toward a quick and easy vote. [Sun-Times]

3 It depends on your definition of ‘apology’

Amid the uproar over the forced cancellation of millions of health plans, President Obama managed to say sorry without apologizing yesterday. He did explicitly take the blame for the flawed rollout of his signature legislation in an interview with NBC News. [Sun-Times]

4 [Insert funny headline here]

The Onion is quitting its print edition in Chicago and its other two remaining markets, sending a shiver down the spines of the many newspapers that aren’t nearly as entertaining as the satirical publication. The Chicago-based operation’s final print edition featured 16 pages and only two ads, both of which were for Camel cigarettes. [Crain’s]

5 Jobs report beats estimates

The October jobs report just broke, and it bears news that’s better than expected. The economy added about 200,000 jobs last month, even as the unemployment rate ticked up a tenth of a point to 7.3 percent, and the previous two months’ numbers were revised upwards by 60,000 jobs. The BLS said that the government shutdown had “no discernible impact” on employment, then denied global warming and added that we never put a man on the moon. [Sun-Times]

6 Only the name is funny

If you can make out what Chief Keef is actually saying, you’ll hear a lot about the Lamrons — a deadly gang that controls much of the territory in Englewood. After a year of intensive work to quell the violence that the Lamrons have wrought, the CPD opens up about what they’ve been able to accomplish. [Sun-Times]

7 Hearing footsteps

In exchange for allowing them to track your every move, Walgreen’s will give you $5 for every 250 miles you walk. On the downside, that sounds like the plot to a terrible science fiction novel. On the upside, it’s $5 more than either the NSA or Google is paying you. [Grid]

8 A lot of people still think gay marriage is awesome

The celebration continues with rallies, “West Side Story” renditions and a threat to “set off a glitter bomb on Putin.” About a hundred folks braved the annoyingly cold weather last night in Roscoe Village. [Sun-Times]