Chicagoans swear an average of 17 times a day, survey finds

Well, s---.

Chicago has a low ranking among major U.S. cities in daily swear word usage, according to a survey released Wednesday.

Chicagoans swear an average of 17 times per day, well behind the nation’s most foul-mouthed city. That would be, darn it, Columbus, Ohio, where residents curse 36 times a day, according to the survey, which was conducted by the language learning app Preply using data from 1,500 residents in 30 cities.

Chicago’s ranking didn’t sit well with Roberta “Poochie” Jackson, a longtime employee of the Weiners Circle hot dog stand and perhaps the city’s most prolific swearsmith since former Mayor Rahm Emanuel left town to serve as ambassador to Japan.

“Not sure what f---ing suburb they surveyed, but we all know Chicago is No. 1,” she said.

That survey, in fact, ranked 22 cities ahead of Chicago, which tied with both El Paso, Texas — and New York. Residents of Portland and Phoenix tied for fewest average swear words, at 14 per day.

A majority of respondents, 54%, swear at themselves more than any other person — especially when it comes to experiencing pain, like stubbing a toe, or in times of frustration.

Swears were otherwise most commonly used when expressing road rage and receiving bad news.

Swear word substitutes are used by 57% of of those polled for a variety of situations, like when kids are around or when you’re at work.

Here are the top examples:

• Fudge/fudgesicle
• Shoot
• Frick/frickin’
• Crap
• Dang
• Heck
• Darn/darn it
• Holy cow
• Dang/dang it
• Freaking
• Poop
• Fork
• Mother trucker
• Sugar
• Holy smokes

Have a great frickin’ day.