John Fountain: A lifetime of good choices adds up to a good life

This is part of an occasional series of talks with my 13-year-old son, titled, “Mornings with Malik: The road to manhood”

Dear Son, you can choose to be counted in the number of good, contributing and successful black men. Or you may choose to become just another statistic.

You can choose to have digits behind your name — as in Illinois Department of Corrections Identification No… (fill in the blank).

Or you can choose initials to follow your name — as in B.A., M.D., J.D., or Ph.D.

You can choose — to be a thug, or a thespian. A batterer. Or a banker.

High. Or sober. A happenstance “baby daddy.” Or someday, a loving father by responsible planning.

You can aspire to be Chief Keef. Chief Justice. Or Chief of Police.

Regardless of the circumstances that may ever befall you, dear son, always remember: You have the power to choose. The ability to determine whether it is your menacing mug shot that appears when people Google your name. Or your smiling professional headshot.

You must choose today — understanding that the sum of good decisions is a good life.

Will it be your résumé or your rap sheet that a potential employer someday will survey?

Will you choose to become a drug dealer or a doctor? A pariah? Or a paramedic? A triumph? Or a tragedy?

A menace to society and multiple offender? Or a model and manifestation of what is possible, even for a young black man, by hard work and a dream?

You can choose that straight and narrow path toward life. Or you can choose that wide and winding road toward death, sorrow and destruction.

Choose wisely.

Son, no young man is immune — whether suburban, urban or rural. Whether rich, middle-class or poor.

The world can be a cold cruel place for all men. For a black man, the world can feel bitterly frozen by a polar vortex with no impending forecast for relief.

And still, you get to choose. No excuses. You must choose.

You can attach yourself to “friends” prone to trouble — foul-mouthed, criminally-minded characters, disrespectful of girls and women — even their own mothers. Or you can choose friends who are respectful, respected and like-minded in their thirst for knowledge, success and a good future.

You can choose to follow wisdom or folly. You get to choose whether your life ultimately brings joy to your mother. Or pain. Glory. Or shame.

You must choose whether to build for yourself your own good name in time, or to make your name notorious and forever associated with crime.

You must choose whether to be a follower, tossed by every whim, like dead leaves blown by an autumn wind. Or to be a leader, following your conscience, standing steadfast on what is honest and good and true, like a strong ship anchored against a storm.

You can choose to work hard in school, to learn to delay gratification for that which lasts. Or you can choose to goof off and procrastinate — to allow life to happen to you rather than grasping it firmly by its reins.

You can choose to master the King’s English — to use it as a tool of effective communication, as a key to unlock doors. Or you can allow gibberish, slang and ghetto speak to define and also confine you.

Son, in 2013, there were 526,000 black males in state and federal prison, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics. But the number I want you to focus on is 1.2 million — the number of black males, according to the U.S. Census, enrolled in college that year.

Son, it’s up to you. Choose.

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