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Editorial: Donald Trump magically solves Chicago’s problems

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. | AP

Thank you, Donald, for solving Chicago’s crime problem.

We thought it was complicated. We thought our city’s horrendous violent crime rate had something to do with inadequate schools, unemployment, a constant flow of illegal guns over state borders, dysfunctional families, an endemic sense of hopelessness and hard stuff like that.

We also thought, silly us, that it had a lot to do with a shaky relationship between the police and the community, a certain failure of trust that makes it hard for cops to do their job and makes it hard for a lot of Chicagoans to call the cops.

EDITORIAL

Chicago was working on all that, of course, pushed to do so by lawsuits and a Department of Justice civil rights investigation. But nobody thought the city could fix everything overnight, much as it would like to for the sake of every child who must dodge bullets when walking home from school.

But you figured it out, as you figure all things out. You said you had talked to “a couple of very top police,” and they assured you they could end Chicago’s crime problem in a week — before Labor Day! — just by getting “much tougher.”

What does that exactly mean? Wholesale arrests? Basement beatings in police stations? Waterboarding? You’ve already made clear you’re good with waterboarding in other situations.

Even Bill O’Reilly on Fox TV, hardly the great civil libertarian, pointed out to you that you “have to have a warrant to arrest people. You can’t beat them up.”

You did not say what you meant because you did not know. You admitted to O’Reilly that you had not even asked those “very top police” what exactly they had in mind. But you knew it was a plan!

This is fine. Details are for lesser leaders. You have a “very good brain,” as you have said, and you talked to a couple of cops — maybe — and they assured you they could clean up this whole town in a week just by getting “tough.” What else could you possibly need to know?

Thank you, Donald Trump.

And, while you’re at it, tell us next how to achieve world peace. You know, within a week or two.

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