Still setting sail

Jim Hahn admitted he had an unusual feeling moments before taking off in the 2019 Independence Cup U.S. Para Sailing Championship on July 25-28.

He was nervous.

Hahn, a 52-year-old from Norwalk, Connecticut, wasn’t nervous because of a fear of water or boats. He had been sailing for more than 35 years before placing second in the One Design Division.

Sure, Hahn was in Chicago without his wife or son and didn’t know anyone too well. But his anxiety had to do with more than just his unfamiliarity with his surroundings.

As Hahn looked over Burnham Harbor, the realization started to sink in that he was going to sail for only the second time since an accident left him paralyzed.

‘‘It’s just the unknown,’’ Hahn said.

Hahn was an avid skier; his family hit the slopes 40 to 50 days a year. While skiing in Vermont on Feb. 3, 2018, Hahn collided with a snowboarder in an accident he said wasn’t either one of their faults.

The initial collision didn’t affect Hahn, but it caused him to fall and slide into a trail sign. He said he didn’t know what had happened at first, but he knew something was wrong when he saw his wife’s face and couldn’t feel his legs when he tried to get up.

‘‘Like, what the f--- just happened?’’ Hahn said he remembers asking after the accident. ‘‘We had to get a helicopter. The doctor in the clinic took X-rays. I have this really rare thermal one-piece mid-layer, and I’m like. ‘Don’t cut that, you can’t get any more of those.’ And she’s like, ‘Jim, this is a problem.’

‘‘My surgeon cried when they told me I’d never walk again. Like, surgeons aren’t supposed to cry.’’

The accident broke Hahn’s back and left him paralyzed from the waist down. He spent six weeks in inpatient rehab two months after the accident. He said the first couple of weeks after the accident were rough, especially when he realized the things he couldn’t do anymore.

‘‘I had some really dark days at the beginning that scared the living crap outta me,’’ Hahn said. ‘‘But I don’t get that anymore at all. I sat there for days, wishing I was dead. I didn’t think about doing anything about it, but I wished I was dead.’’

Things generally became easier for Hahn once he returned home from rehab. He describes himself as an active person who’s ‘‘always doing something.’’ He said getting out of his house with his wife helped bring him peace.

But nothing compares to the tranquility sailing brings him. Hahn casually raced with smaller boats as a kid before a friend introduced him to a New York 40 — a 40-foot-long race boat that was relatively new at the time — in 10th grade. He took joy in the speed and became hooked by sailing.

His favorite sailing experience came during Key West Race Week in 2006. He sailed on a Swan 45 and jokingly would tell his friends, ‘‘We’re gonna die,’’ every day before racing.

Hahn knew he would continue to sail after the accident, but he knew he’d have to adjust to race again. He has found it more difficult to steer and to use his body weight to balance his boat.

Hahn sailed a one-person keel boat specially equipped for his disability during the Independence Cup after sailing large sailboats for most of his life. But he takes the modifications in stride. For Hahn, the gratification he gets from sailing is worth the changes.

‘‘It’s such a big part of my life,’’ Hahn said, holding back tears. ‘‘All summer, we’ve sailed. In the last couple of summers, we’ve slept on the old race boat that we called ‘Whodini’ because we just disappeared in it. It’s a huge part of both me and the family.

‘‘It’s normalcy, just the culture of sailors. I like to drink beer, and sailors like to drink beer. That’s a big part of it. It’s my life and what I do.’’

Hahn had to take extra steps to get into his boat for the Independence Cup. Three people helped him get inside after he located it in the harbor. Once inside, he asked for his pack of Doublemint gum. He started chewing the gum as he turned the corner of the harbor and had the view of Lake Michigan in front of him.

Hahn yelled, ‘‘Full send!’’ as he entered the lake. Suddenly, his anxiety appeared to have washed away. The unknown became familiar, and Hahn’s nervousness turned into jubilation.