Restart of pro sports leagues will be an exercise in hope, faith and blind luck

Sports fans, start your engines!

Per mayor Lori Lightfoot: ‘‘Bars, lounges, taverns and breweries’’ may reopen Wednesday.

Of course, those openings are restricted to places that don’t serve food. But who needs food when you’ve got Old Style, Malort (gag) and walls of 50-inch flat-screen TVs showing — can it be? — live sports!

Well, maybe not immediately.

But soon.

We’re pretty sure.

All the major pro sports have declared they’re at least going to attempt to come back from COVID-19 seclusion and restart — in some form or other, no matter how weird —almost any day now.

Major League Soccer announced it has its MLS is Back Tournament scheduled to start July 8 at the ESPN Wide World of Sports Complex in Orlando, Florida, with players showing up as early as June 24.

The NBA will start sometime this summer, hopefully in late July, with the season possibly ending on Oct. 12 if the Finals go the distance — then have training camp just a month later for the 2020-21 season. Players can opt out of this shortened season if they so desire, whether out of virus concerns or general principle, NBA commissioner Adam Silver said.

Where will the able and willing ballers play?

Down in Orlando, too. Right next to the Disney World Resort and all things Mickey Mouse. Party!

The hope here is, of course, that Mickey and his pals Goofy and Dopey don’t become symbols of a wispy, on-the-fly restart of the currently suspended season.

Remember, players haven’t played basketball in three months. (If Charles Barkley were still in the league, that would be long enough for him to eat and drink his way to John Candy status.)

But onward we go.

On ESPN’s ‘‘The Return of Sports’’ special Monday night, host Mike Greenberg did a good job of getting all the major sports commissioners to state what they think the scenario for their sports looks like.

Mostly, the commishes restated the obvious: that nobody really has a clue about where this infernal virus will take us or even how the Black Lives Matter protests will affect their games. But they will attempt to bore a hole in the turbulence.

‘‘What we’re trying to do has never been done before, as far as I know,’’ Silver said. And what they’re trying to do, he said, is ‘‘find a way to create our own sense of normality.’’

Imagine doing that with an unseen disease out there lurking, spread most easily by infected people breathing on others at close range. Can you say Patrick Beverley on defense?

Already players for various college and pro teams have tested positive for COVID-19 — including Cowboys star running back Ezekiel Elliott — some of them showing few if any symptoms. But the fact that an infected person feels fine doesn’t mean that the person he or she spreads the virus to won’t get quite sick.

The PGA Tour started last week to pent-up rave reviews. And the biggest bonus: Not a single player or caddie tested positive for the coronavirus.

But two-man golf on fairways and greens is to football linemen fighting in a scrum as a ballet pair is to a raging mosh pit.

Nevertheless, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell says his league is going to attempt to adhere to its published schedule. That means a preseason that begins Aug. 6 and a regular season that starts Sept. 10.

With fans in the stands? Masks everywhere? Piped-in cheers?

Who knows?

The answer is nobody.

The WNBA will be forging ahead with a 22-game regular season — 12 fewer than last year, but with full pay for players — beginning in late July.

College football with its gazillion-dollar coaches and unpaid players might be at a real crossroads. The big-time schools need the money from D-I football for lots of things, athletic-department-personnel salaries and minor-sports funding being but two.

But the players might soon, sparked perhaps by courage and anger fueled by the BLM protests and the dangers of COVID spread, demand a fair cut of the entertainment pie they bake.

Which reminds me.

I haven’t mentioned MLB. And, goodness, this is the heart of that sport’s season.

But commissioner Rob Manfred, owners, greedy agents — the clowns who can’t solve anything and have no plan?

Well, dear fans, when you step outside that bar or lounge for some fresh air or a chance to go mask-less, give those fellows a nice one-finger salute in tribute.

Apparently, they took their ball and went home.