Philadelphia flop: Bears embarrassed by Eagles 31-3

PHILADELPHIA — The Eagles pretended to take a team picture in one end zone. In the other, former Bears wide receiver Alshon Jeffery bowled an imaginary ball to knock down his teammates, lined up like pins. And after an interception that would be overturned by replay, the entire Eagles defense did “The Electric Slide” in unison, facing their cheering teammates.

It would be too easy to suggest the fun-loving Eagles danced on the Bears’ grave in their 31-3 stroll Sunday. Losers of four in a row, the 3-8 Bears have been dead and buried for weeks.

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“If you don’t want them to do it, stop them,” defensive end Akiem Hicks said. “We didn’t stop them, so you can’t say anything or do anything about it.”

The Bears didn’t.

They had 33 yards of offense at halftime — and 36 penalty yards.

They didn’t muster a first down until about a minute into the third quarter. A self-proclaimed run-first team, they needed a late Mitch Trubisky scramble to avoid setting the franchise record for fewest rushing yards. Erratic again, Trubisky went 17-for-33 for 147 yards with two interceptions.

The Bears’ defense gave up 24 points in the first half, with Carson Wentz finding Jeffery for an eight-yard touchdown five seconds before halftime.

Adding to the insult, the Bears left town late because of a malfunction on their plane. They were stuck on the tarmac while waiting for another.

Jeffery’s celebration wasn’t the only time the Eagles toyed with the Bears. Running back LeGarrette Blount hurdled safety Eddie Jackson on a 22-yard run to set up Jeffery’s TD catch.

Early in the second quarter, Wentz, the presumptive NFL MVP, spun around blitzing cornerback Cre’Von LeBlanc — rushing from a blind spot — and scrambled for 16 yards to convert a third down. Eight plays later, Wentz threw a 15-yard TD pass to Nelson Agholor, who did a flip at the right pylon.

Wentz went 23-for-36 for 227 yards and three scores, and he was wearing a baseball cap with 10 minutes left in the blowout.

In losses this season, the Bears touted that they were close as a sign of progress. So what did this game mean?

“It’s a sign of getting your butt kicked,” Hicks said.

Guard Kyle Long bristled at a question about the Eagles’ revelry.

“Look, I’m not here to watch celebrations,” he said. “I’m here to block the defensive front and to get yards. We got minus-6 [rushing yards from running backs]. I could give two [expletive] about their celebrations.

“If they want to go on ‘Dancing With the Stars,’ that’s great for them. We’re trying to win football games. We didn’t do that today. I’m very glad that they’re well-choreographed in their dance routines. We have to find a way to win football games.”

There are five chances left, with the Bears playing for little else but draft order — and pride.

“To be honest, I just don’t wanna be disrespected as a player, as a man,” Long said. “You’re not gonna line up across from me and take my lunch money every play. I won’t allow it to happen.

“I know we have guys in this locker room that feel the same way. We just have to do it as a team.’’

Follow me on Twitter @patrickfinley.

Email: pfinley@suntimes.com