Don’t sing us these songs, Piano Man: The 10 worst Billy Joel songs

SHARE Don’t sing us these songs, Piano Man: The 10 worst Billy Joel songs

In honor of the Piano Man’s gig at Wrigley Field tonight, we offer up the 10 worst songs of Billy Joel’s catalog.

And there are tickets still available. For good reason.

Related:

Slate: The Worst Pop Singer Ever

Salon: Billy Joel kind of hates “We Didn’t Start the Fire”: “One of the worst melodies I ever wrote”

10. Piano Man

Hey bro, while it’s the greatest night of your life, the rest of the bar doesn’t need to hear it.

9. Only the Good Die Young

Wu-Tang.

8. Uptown Girl

We all can’t summer in the Hamptons.

7. Innocent Man

Guilty.

6. The Longest Time

It’s just too happy. And dumb. And “Happy” is better. There, we said it.

5. She’s Always A Woman To Me

How did you get a date?

4. Big Shot

More like big loser.

3. Tell Her About It

Please don’t. She doesn’t need to hear it.

2. It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me

Is it? Is it, really? In a Poison sense of rock ‘n’ roll.

1. We Didn’t Start the Fire

Let it burn.

And because it’s difficult to whittle down his songbook to just 10, here’s an honorable mention:

Scenes From an Italian Restaurant

Sometimes snails and duck liver is a better bet.

The Latest
The Cubs open Cactus League play Friday against the White Sox.
Everyone will want to talk to general manager Ryan Poles as teams make record-breaking offers for the No. 1 pick and feel out what it would take to land Fields.
Johnson announced last week that the city planned to shut down the gunshot detection system after the historically violent summer months and the Democratic National Convention, making good on a key campaign promise.
Dr. Robin Gay, who most recently served as the health care provider’s chief dental officer, takes over the role formerly held by David Munar.
Cubs spokesman Julian Green said an update of a 20-year-old rooftop ordinance that authorized beer and wine sales only for baseball games is long overdue.