In honor of the Piano Man’s gig at Wrigley Field tonight, we offer up the 10 worst songs of Billy Joel’s catalog.
And there are tickets still available. For good reason.
10. Piano Man
Hey bro, while it’s the greatest night of your life, the rest of the bar doesn’t need to hear it.
9. Only the Good Die Young
8. Uptown Girl
We all can’t summer in the Hamptons.
7. Innocent Man
6. The Longest Time
It’s just too happy. And dumb. And “Happy” is better. There, we said it.
5. She’s Always A Woman To Me
How did you get a date?
4. Big Shot
More like big loser.
3. Tell Her About It
Please don’t. She doesn’t need to hear it.
2. It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me
Is it? Is it, really? In a Poison sense of rock ‘n’ roll.
1. We Didn’t Start the Fire
Let it burn.
And because it’s difficult to whittle down his songbook to just 10, here’s an honorable mention:
Scenes From an Italian Restaurant
Sometimes snails and duck liver is a better bet.